


Love Me Tender Like What Keeps You Well

by thiccbuckybarnes



Series: Betrothed & Bewildered [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: A whole boatload of angst, A/B/O science idk, Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Alternative Universe - Historical, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Comfort/Angst, Guilt, Historical Romance A/B/O AU, James believes otherwise, Knotting, M/M, Marriage of Convenience, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mildly Dubious Consent, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Mpreg, Multiple Orgasms, Omega Bucky Barnes, Oral Sex, Pining, Rimming, Rutting, Set in the Victorian Era 1837-1901, Steve doesn't believe he deserves good things, Steve has some issues, Top Steve Rogers, a whole boatload of internal angst and worry, a/b/o dynamics, jane austen inspired, mentions of past minor character death, so much pining!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-04-01
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:47:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23317861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thiccbuckybarnes/pseuds/thiccbuckybarnes
Summary: The estate was full to the brim with giggling ladies in tailored dresses and gentlemen in dress shirts and narrow jackets with velvet collars. The ballroom was lively with chatter, music, and dance, and the rest of his house had some form of merriment and gossip in one corner or another.- -Steve Rogers, an alpha, widow, retired army captain, and master of the Allaheim estate, is happy to welcome new neighbors next to his manor in his pleasant little village of York. He hopes to gain new friends to brighten up his lonely life, and ends up getting much more than he bargained for when he meets the son of his new neighbor, James.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Series: Betrothed & Bewildered [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1684999
Comments: 108
Kudos: 777





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, and welcome! I thought it time to finally work on completing this and finally got around to posting it.
> 
> I just want to stress that Steve has no intentions of pursuing James while he is underage. If you want clarification before reading, or a full list of tags from future chapters, please just ask!
> 
> Title from Peach Pit's song, Private Presley.

The estate was full to the brim with giggling ladies in tailored dresses and gentlemen in dress shirts and narrow jackets with velvet collars. The ballroom was lively with chatter, music, and dance, and the rest of his house had some form of merriment and gossip in one corner or another.

Captain Rogers stood off to the side in one of his drawing rooms, entertaining himself by listening to an old army lieutenant’s embellished stories of their days of glory. He took a short sip of brandy, and looked around the room.

 _“I heard that he dedicated his entire life to his wife, and when she died he swore off love of any other,”_ he heard the harsh whisper from several feet away. Steve frowned into his glass, determined not to look at who was gossiping about him.

_“He’s such a wealthy and amiable alpha, but no omega can catch his eye!”_

_“He surely has his pick of the lot, but he is unwavering in his dedication to his deceased wife. That’s so romantic!”_ another said. He sighed deeply, trying to listen back into the story from his lieutenant from before but to no avail. The sting of gossip pricked him deeply.

“Captain Rogers?” The question brought him out of his misery. He looked over to see a man he did not know, clearly of beta designation even in a room full of overpowering smells. The man, while in suitable dress, certainly did not look to be of the caliber of many of his guests. He rubbed the back neck abashedly.

“Yes?” Steve asked, putting on a smile and giving the man his full attention. 

“I’m so sorry to intrude, but I wanted to thank you for the invitation. I am George Barnes, your new neighbor down in Ashbury Court?” Steve was sure his surprise and enjoyment showed on his face, and he clapped the man on his back quickly in greeting.

“Yes, George, my good man! Welcome, welcome. I’m so glad you could make it!” Steve said, gesturing to the party. “It’s wonderful to finally make your acquaintance after many weeks of writing. I trust your family is here?” He looked around, and his eyes landed on a woman and two children of teen years behind George.

George nodded hurriedly, and turned around to wave to his family. His wife was an alpha woman, and the two children were young enough to not have presented yet. They walked up to him, all nervous smiles.

“Yes, yes, this is Winnie, my wife,” George said, allowing time for Steve and his wife to nod and bow at each other, respectfully. Then he gestured to his children. “James here is sixteen, and my darling Rebecca is fourteen. Say hello, kids,” George ushered. Rebecca did a cute little curtsy and James a stiff bow. He clearly looked uncomfortable.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you all, and welcome to the neighborhood.” He turned to see his army friends had dispersed and he was now alone with the Barnes clan. He turned back to them with a grin. “This may be a bit forward, but I insist on having you all over for dinner until you are fully settled into Ashbury. Would it be too soon to ask for your company tomorrow?” He asked. The shock on George’s face was quite apparent.

“Oh, Captain Rogers, that is far too generous. We are nearly settled, as I sent some men ahead early with our things. It’s mostly a matter of making the new house our home, you know,” George said, stumbling through a bit. Winnie pursed her lips, clearly wanting to input her piece of mind but refrained. Rebecca looked more enchanted with the dancing in the other room and James looked rather pained to be there.

Steve just laughed. “Please, call me Steve, my good man. And I insist; I am far too lonely in these parts and would appreciate some company,” he said. James’ head perked up at his words and he eyed Steve curiously. Just then, he saw Sam walking by and pulled him in.

“Sam, my friend! This is the famed Barnes clan that is taking over Ashbury Court! This is George, Winnie, Rebecca, and James, is it?” He asked, keeping eye contact with the sixteen year old. James frowned, and nodded. 

Sam, George, and Winnie started in immediately on the highlights and lowlights of living in the countryside of York. Rebecca seemed to have found a girl her age to converse with, and all that was left was him and James, who looked rather unimpressed with his entire house and party.

“Tell me, James, what are your interests, or hobbies? They don’t appear to be parties,” he asked with a slight of tease, not sure if James would even answer him. James then surprised him with a small quirk of a smile.

“I really enjoy reading,” he confessed quietly, looking around, as if someone was lying in wait to mock him for it. Steve stood back, smiling small. It took him less than ten seconds to make a decision.

Resting a hand on George’s shoulder, he whispered to him that he was going to show James something, and George all but waved him off to do as he pleased as he was enthralled with Sam’s tales of his wild university days. He looked at James and waved him to follow.

“I understand not being a fan of parties,” Steve said, walking him through the crowds with James trailing behind him. “I’m not one to complain, but I confess it is one of the more tedious duties of being a gentleman.” He looked back quick enough in time to see James smile again.

His house was certainly a mansion of old, with high ceilings and beautiful stonework. He was proud to run the Allaheim estate, continuing on tradition that has been in his family’s line for three generations. Many would balk at Steve’s wealth, but he was modest enough to know that it was inheritance and he had to be sensible with his spending in order to keep Allaheim the great estate it has been for the last century. 

Much of his belongings and decorations have been in the manor since it was first built, and Steve laid no claim to being a man of luxury. But he would be the first to admit that it was a beauty of a manor.

They weaved through many people, some stopping Steve to thank him for the invitation, or to complement the music. He made sure James was still following him and continued on, eager to show him a dear treasure of his.

He led James down a hallway away from the party, and took his set of keys from his pocket to unlock a door on the left. Before opening it, however, he turned with his back against the door to stare straight at James.

“Now James, I trust your responsibility and accountability if I let you in here, you hear? No bringing anyone in here to snog or swiping anything without my permission, yes?” He asked with a quirk of his mouth, saying the words with enough humor in his voice to convey that he did not believe James would be capable of such things. 

James rolled his eyes with a simper.

“I don’t even present for another two years,” he said, mock exasperation and laughing softly. Steve just shrugged. 

“Who knows what kids these days get up to,” he said, despite himself only being 28 and not that much older to kids these days compared to many others of his status and wealth. James just rolled his eyes and tried to peak over Steve’s shoulder, despite being a whole head shorter than him.

“Okay, okay, James Barnes of Ashbury Court, I give you free reign over one of my few treasures,” Steve said dramatically, and opened the door. They stepped inside the dark room, shoulder to shoulder, before Steve turned to flick his newly installed electric switch to turn on his lights.

James gasped.

Steve’s library left much to be desired, but he was still proud of it. Since he inherited the house from his father, he changed very little, but the library did not change at all. From floor to ceiling were rows and rows of books, collected by several generations of the Rogers’ of Allaheim. The room was large, which meant his wall-length bookcases held a few thousand books that had been in his family’s possession for decades. The room was of soft browns and coppers, with maps and a globe, and a piano in the corner. He stood back, watching James take it all in.

“Now, I dare say you may be able to find something worth reading in here. I do confess it is one of my favorite places to be,” he said, eyes sweeping over the several worn-in leather sofas and armchairs. The room was a bit cold, being that it was February, so he set to starting a fire in the fireplace so James could explore and read in comfort.

Once he was done, he saw James already thumbing through a few books. 

“I trust you can stay out of trouble if I leave you to it? I’ll leave the door unlocked.” James looked up at him, his mouth open and eyes wide in wonder, holding a book tightly. 

Steve gave him a warm smile, and turned to go back to attending his party.

~*~

A few hours later, Steve carried a plate of dinner to the library for James. He suspected that George and Winnie would be wanting to leave within the hour, but James had not come out for dinner even though Rebecca was sent to fetch him.

Upon pushing the door open, he found James asleep on his favorite leather couch, curled around a book. Steve set his plate down on the coffee table, and gently freed the book from his grasp to set it there as well. 

James was young, Steve knew, but he was still a handsome boy. He would grow into a fine young man. Quiet and gentle, he was sure that he would make his future partner very happy. He had already decided to let James come and read whenever he wanted, and hoped to be a friend and mentor for the boy. Steve didn’t manage to have any children before his wife died, so he was subjecting himself to become the old wealthy neighbor even though he wasn’t yet 30.

He was remorseful to wake the sleeping boy up, but he was sure that James would be hungry.

“James,” Steve said softly, gently shaking his shoulder to wake him. James sighed sweetly before reaching out to hold Steve’s hand. The affection surprised Steve, and despite the nagging feeling to let James sleep, he had to wake the boy up. He nudged him a bit more until James slowly opened his eyes.

“James, I brought you dinner, if you’d like to eat.” James woke slowly, and pushed himself up to sit properly before rubbing his eyes.

“I’m sorry,” James apologized. “This week has been quite hectic, and the fire is nice.” Steve chucked, pushing the plate close to James before standing. 

“No worries, my boy. You’re more than welcome to sleep.” Steve went to step away then, but James’ voice made him stop.

“Stay?” James asked, clearly wanting the company. Steve nodded, and eased into the sofa next to James as he ate.

They exchanged small talk, mostly about Red Hook where James grew up. George was a clerk, and received a promotion from the bank he worked at which required them to move to York. James and Rebecca had studied at a local tutor back in Red Hook, but they were unsure as to where they would study out in the countryside.

“I’m sure Sam knows someone,” Steve said, walking over to the bar cart tucked in the corner and pulling out two glasses. He looked over at James. “If I give you a glass, will you tell on me to your parents?” He asked. James shook his head wildly, and made a “give me” motion when Steve poured him a short glass of whiskey. He laughed as he handed it over.

They sat in silence for a bit, enjoying the fire in the fireplace as well as the warmth in their bellies from the liquor. Until James asked in a small voice, “Steve? May I ask you something?”

The older man hummed, and took another sip.

“I couldn’t help but hear the rumors…” James said, trailing off. When Steve looked over, James was clearly avoiding eye contact, cheeks red. 

“Yes?” Steve prompted. If James was going to pry into his personal matters from gossip, he may as well hurry and ask. Steve couldn’t blame the poor boy for his curiosity, not like the older persons who should know to mind their own.

“Well, I just--I wondered, are you lonely?” James asked, finally looking up at Steve with his big eyes. They were a pretty steel blue, almost grey.

Steve took another sip of whiskey, mulling over the question. Quite frankly, he was very lonely. He was all that was left of the Rogers line, and his wife had died rather suddenly. It had only been two years since Peggy’s passing, so the pain was still quite fresh. But as an alpha, he had to stay strong and as a businessman he had to make it seem like everything was okay. He was managing.

He could lie, and tell James that he had plenty of company to divert himself with. But the way James was looking at him, so open and honest, he didn’t feel it appropriate to lie to the boy. So he told the truth.

“Yes, oftentimes I am,” he admitted, looking away to the fire. He could feel James still staring at him. “I’ve had the misfortune of losing many important people in my life, from family and loved ones to soldiers I commanded.” He looked back at James, trying to smile but not quite making it. “But I have good friends, both new and old, and I had the pleasure of meeting the Barnes’ tonight which I am confident will cure some of my lonesomeness.” 

He meant the end of what he said to be teasing and light, but James set his glass down and crawled up onto his knees, facing Steve.

“ _I_ will keep you company, Steve. I won’t let you be lonely too much. You’re so welcoming and kind, a man like you deserves to be surrounded by people to keep him company!” James said with such conviction that Steve at first thought him to be drunk. But the boy was clearly sweet, and cared for Steve so easily. All he had to do was offer some books, and he received James’ friendship.

Steve laughed, shaking his head, and set his own drink down. He clapped James on his knee, and kept their eyes level.

“Okay, James. I trust you’ll take good care of me,” he said, humor in his voice but heart warming at the kindness of this boy.

The sight of his grin, brilliant and beautiful, that split James’ mouth was one that would follow Steve around for many years to come.

~*~

In the coming month, James had turned seventeen. He and Rebecca had been set up with a tutor that Sam knew, just as Steve predicted. The Barnes settled into life in the countryside of York rather nicely. Ashbury Court was a pleasant little cottage that was a mile down the way from Allaheim Manor, and if one took the shortcut through the forest it was but a fifteen minute walk.

Even after the Barnes were fully moved in, Steve still insisted on them dining at his house at least twice a week. The Barnes’ were incredibly pleasant people, and even though George was nearly double Steve’s age, he found him to become a very close friend and confidant. He could honestly say that besides Sam, they all became as close to him as family.

James was committed to his promise, and spent most hours that he was not in lessons at Steve’s. Whether they read together in silence in his library, or rode horseback throughout the hills, or on the rare occasion Steve went into the village of York and had permission to take James, they were together constantly. Steve was determined to mentor James, to show him what it was like to be a good man of society, to be charitable and helpful in whatever capacity Steve could afford. He humored himself in thinking that James saw him in this light.

Even though they were too close in age to be thought of as father and son, Steve liked to think of James like a younger brother, or someone else close to him. It was just so wonderful to have a constant familial presence back in his life. 

Months continued to pass and in late summer, Steve was called away on business. James had begged to be taken with, but both Steve and George denied him. James did not speak to Steve the whole two days leading up to his departure. The morning he was to leave, however, James had come running in the house.

He found Steve in the foyer and flung himself into Steve, hugging him tightly and not letting go for several minutes.

“I’ll only be gone two weeks,” Steve said with a laugh, though he, too, felt sad about having to leave James here. “You know you can still come over every day. I’m beginning to think that Wanda likes you more than me, anyhow.” James only hugged him tighter, before finally letting go.

“Just be safe, you pompous ass,” he said bitingly, though Steve just laughed and ruffled his hair. James ran right back out of the house. But as Steve was riding down the road away from his house in his horse-drawn carriage, he saw James atop a hill under a tree they often sat under, watching as Steve left.

Business ended up taking him three weeks instead of two because some dolt of a man fumbled his paperwork. He wrote to James several times, but never received a response. When he was finally home, it was late in the evening. He went into his library to make himself a drink, and there was James asleep on his sofa in front of the fireplace, book in his loose grasp.

The sight pulled at his heart strings, reminding him of their first meeting all those months ago. Even after just three weeks, he could see James start to grow and fill out. It made him sad to have missed even such a short amount of time in these transitioning times of James’ life. When he woke the sleeping boy, James latched onto him and wouldn’t let him go for a whole hour. 

It was such a good feeling having someone in his arms again, sitting comfortably with the fire crackling. Every molecule in his alpha body felt the need to protect, keep James safe. Even though it was by no means romantically intimate, it had been so long since Steve had prolonged human contact he just couldn’t make the boy let go.

The months continued to press onward. After that long trip, James seemed to be even more clingy than normal. Steve wasn’t necessarily made uncomfortable by it, but the constant touches were concerning. James was young, and Steve practically considered himself an old man by now. Not to mention, Steve only saw himself as James’ mentor, a friendly neighbor, and secretly in his heart, a member of the family. In November, he sat down with George to discuss the situation.

“Well, Steve, excuse me for pointing out the obvious but you’re an alpha,” he said, swirling a glass of brandy in his hand. “James will be presenting in a few short months when he turns eighteen. Maybe this is a sign of what his body is unconsciously trying to tell us.” Steve sat back, shocked.

“You think he will present as omega?” Steve asked, confused of what to think. If James was an omega, what does it mean? That he was attracted to Steve, solely because Steve was an alpha? But James was so young, and Steve--

He set his glass down before he dropped it, rubbing the growth of stubble on his chin in concern. If James presented as omega, and was naturally drawn to Steve as he was an alpha, what would this mean for their relationship? Could Steve possibly continue to mentor James, even if James wanted him? Could Steve--

Oh, Steve gulped harshly, covering his face with his hands.

Could Steve want James _back_? Could he ever return his affections?

It wasn’t that Steve had sworn off all others, like the gossip suggested. It was just that, after his mother passed, and then Peggy right after--well, it was too much to handle. Losing those closest people to him shrunk any sort of hunger he may have had for love. No one caught his eye because he was too busy with work and maintaining his estate, and then mentoring--

But oh, James was sweet. He was turning into a handsome and amiable young man. His wit was as sharp as his biting tongue, and he loved teasing Steve mercilessly. If there were anyone that Steve had to choose to spend the rest of his life with, surely it would be James.

But James was still a child, even if he was going to present in just a few months. Steve would not find it appropriate to court an omega right after they presented, even if it was common in this day and age. Regardless of what James presented as, he deserved to explore the world, experience love and heartbreak. Not be chained down by his neighbor, who was ten years older than him. Surely, Steve had already had his go, he already lived his life. James should go out and live his.

“You’re clearly giving this a lot of thought,” George said, amused. Steve took several moments to himself before deciding.

“I think,” Steve said with a heavy sigh, “whatever his designation may be, it may be smart of me to draw some space between us.” George watched him for a few short moments before nodding, and finishing his drink.

“If you think it best,” he said. And Steve did, at least at the time.

Coming up with reasons to be away from James became increasingly hard. And as young as James still was, he was smart. He knew that Steve was up to something, and regularly called him out on it. 

Steve would make work a frequent excuse, telling James to entertain himself because he had papers to file and letters to write. James retorted back that Steve had never been so busy. The boy took up Steve’s sofa in his office to read rather in the library as usual, and spent the entire time glaring at Steve as Steve wrote random letters and pretended to look busy.

He called on Sam more often, making excuses to run errands around the village. James would insist on coming, and Sam would laugh and laugh while Steve fumbled around looking for things to do.

James was still young, though, and broke down crying one evening when he accused Steve of avoiding him. Steve felt so bad he indulged in James’ every whim for a whole week, taking him shopping for an early birthday present, going for long walks in the snowy forest surrounding their houses, and even going on a long carriage ride. James had practically crawled into Steve’s lap on that ride, insisting that it was cold and that they had to huddle together under a thick wool cover to stay warm.

Steve realized how wonderful it felt to have James in his arms. The alpha part of him was immensely satisfied with the task of keeping James warm, and entertaining him with stories and small talk. James looked so happy, then, and Steve just wanted to keep that happiness there forever.

It was then that he had decided that he had to take serious measures to draw distance between them. He was not only becoming a poor influence on James if Geroge’s prediction was right, but he was putting his own heart up for sacrifice. He could not bear to let himself taint James in such a way.

He met with Sam, and the two of them decided to go away to town for a while. There, Steve reasoned, he could get much work sorted before his usual busy time in the spring, and he could call on many people he hadn’t seen in ages.

When he told the Barnes’ about his trip over their usual Friday suppers, James was steely and quiet. He withdrew himself from the meal early, and retired to his room for the rest of the evening. He would not even emerge when Steve knocked to say goodnight. It hurt Steve deeply, but he knew it was the right decision to make.

On a cold January day, he and Sam were packing up the carriage when James came. He didn’t run in like a tornado like the first time, nor did he hold onto Steve like he never wanted to let go. He looked like he had been crying, and he was a bit pale. Steve wanted to cancel the trip just from looking at him, his heart aching at the sight of the boy.

James did his best not to actually look at Steve, instead intent on staring at his shoes while he hugged himself tightly from the cold. Sam retreated back into the house to give them some privacy.

“I just wanted to tell you that, uhm, I understand,” he said, his voice cracking. Steve felt his throat close up from the broken sound. “I’ve decided to study abroad this summer, in France. So I’m not sure when I will see you again. But,” he said, and like he was betraying his entire body, those steely blue eyes looked up at Steve. “I wanted to tell you, to be safe and uh, have a good trip.”

It was a defining moment for Steve, just then, to take a deep breath and smile, and tell James that he would miss him, and to wish for James to be safe this summer also. He promised he’d write, and then he pulled James into a hug. James did not hug him back immediately, but he did sob softly into Steve’s shoulder. When Sam finally came back out, shoes noisy on the gravel, James tore away from Steve and ran back home.

This time, when he was riding down the road in his carriage, James was not waiting under the tree.

It was then, from the feeling of his heart ripping itself in two at the empty hill and the realization that he would not see James’ smiling face for some time, that he realized he was in love with the boy down the road.

~*~

Steve ended up staying three months in town. There were enough parties and company to keep his mind off of James for the most part, but James’ tears plagued him still at night. When he gave himself time to think, or even when he was alone long enough, he felt a hollowness in his chest and he knew it was because of what he’d done.

He wasn’t sure when it happened exactly--maybe even the first night they met--but James had carved himself a perfect little place in Steve’s heart. He felt the boy’s absence almost more greatly than when Peggy left this world, which scared him nearly to the brink of his sanity.

He exchanged letters with George frequently, and though he wrote to James his letters would go unanswered. It was the end of March, nearing the end of their intended stay, when Steve received the letter from George declaring that James had finally presented.

James was an omega.

When reading the words, Steve felt his entire body heat, his blood boiling. His hands trembled and he had to set the letter down quickly before he accidentally tore it. The thought of James presenting as an omega--going through his first heat, alone without Steve there, sent his mind spiraling. It wasn’t for several minutes that he realized he was going into rut. 

It didn’t make sense why this news threw his body into a rut. He hated himself every second of it, thinking of the newly presented omega. His stomach rolled at the disgust he felt for himself, almost calling to rush his journey home several times before he finally talked himself out of it. In the end, he had closed himself off for five days before his rut finally broke, despite it being far too early and lasting far too long to be normal or regular. 

After confiding his troubles to his friend, Sam suggested taking a tour of the western side of the country to buy him more time. Steve agreed.

He wrote the letter to James with a shaky hand, feeling sick with himself about his body’s reaction to the news. He did his best to congratulate James on his presenting, and told him that Sam was insisting to extend their travels. He didn’t even feel a drop of shame blaming the whole thing on Sam, because he couldn’t go home, not now. Not with a fresh omega. How sweet he must smell, Steve thought, and then promptly felt sick with himself.

He wouldn’t receive any mail as they were traveling. Despite trying to keep his mind off of James to the best of his and Sam’s abilities, he still fell into a sad state. Sam did his best, and he would be eternally grateful for his kind friend.

They did make good memories, and Steve spent a great deal of time walking along the coasts and pathways though forests of where they traveled. He was with a friend, a brother, and he was determined to make the most of it.

By the end of April, they finally returned. This time, there was no sleeping boy on his library sofa. Steve’s bed was cold, and smelled of fresh linen. His servants greeted him kindly, but there was only one person he wanted to see. But how unfair of him to want to see James, when it was his own doing of separating them.

The next day, George called upon him.

They were having tea in his drawing room when George dealt the blow.

“James headed to France early with Rebecca,” George said gently, a knowing look on his face. This time, Steve did drop his glass and cursed at the mess he made. He reluctantly called on Wanda to help him clean the mess, as his crushed spirits left him useless. “They will be staying with my cousin that lives there until his semester starts, and he will be in the school dorm for the duration for the summer.”

Steve nodded, not even trying to keep his voice neutral in the company of his friend.

“And how long will he be gone?” Steve asked, desperate, heartbroken, but knowing he deserved it.

George hesitated. “August,” he said. And it was the final blow. Steve did his best to keep himself together, and George patted his shoulder and excused himself. Steve cried all night.

He wasn’t sure how he made it through the summer months, but he did. His friends were good enough to entertain him, and George and Winnie would read James and Becca's letters on their Friday night dinners. Steve continued on, and convinced himself that he overcame this blunder of his heart. James would find a fine partner in France, perhaps. Or, he would continue exploring the world. The thoughts meant to ease his heart into acceptance of these facts just left him numb.

He found himself painting and drawing a lot. And despite trying his best to paint the wildflowers in his fields, or the tree he and James always sat under in good weather, he ended up drawing the omega. He couldn’t help but imagine his smile, his mischievous eyes, and his bright laughter when he was teasing Steve. Over the weeks and months, he felt the raw pain turn into a numbness in his chest that haunted him.

He tried not to examine it too closely. Why on earth was a boy’s absence more devastating to him than his own wife’s passing? He felt like such an awful person, an awful husband and alpha. Peggy had once been the light of his life, and now he ignores her memory in favor of this boy he’d only known two years.

His depressive state grew to its peak sometime in July, when Wanda had to beg him to get out of bed and have a bath, walk his grounds, and attend to his business. He only managed to do it because she was a beloved friend, and he couldn’t say no to her gentle pleas.

By August, then numbness hadn’t left him. Sam would shake his head of Steve’s appearance; ragged, beard overgrown, dark circles around his eyes. Some days he refused to leave his house, and would sit in the dark of his library for hours reading by the light of the window.

It was there that James found him. Wanda came in first, to present James’ arrival. Never before did James need an introduction.

He was beautiful, though. He must have grown some, for he was standing tall. His hair was longer and pulled back into a knot behind his head. His shoulders were pulled straight, and he stood tall. He had earned himself a bit of muscle, but he was still long and lean from years of running as children should. Steve wanted to weep at the sight of him.

“Gods, you look like shit,” James said, and Steve laughed then, all the tension draining away from him. They were still Steve and James, still friends, even after eight long months of separation. How his heart had grown heavy with worry, but now he was light.

He rushed to hug James, but just as he pulled the boy into his arms did the smell hit him.

The sweet smell of an omega. James, an omega. He smelled delightful, like a sunny and crisp country morning. He smelled like spring wildflowers and the warm sun on Steve’s skin. It was heavenly. James always fit perfectly in his arms, but this was different. He felt himself stiffen, frozen between wanting to pull him closer and needing to push away.

Steve pulled back, forcing himself to look happy. They met eyes, and James looked slightly surprised, but he quickly knocked their shoulders together and started making fun of Steve’s appearance. Steve could do this, he thought. He may never have James’ affection, but as long as he had his friendship, he could live a happy life.

It took only days of relearning each other for them to fall back into an easy routine. He did not see James nearly as much as he had this time the year prior, but Steve would take what he could get. They were still a bit awkward sometimes, many things going unsaid, but they were managing.

They still had their walks, and their occasional ride on Steve’s horses across his estate. Wanda would give him such a knowing look whenever James would leave, Steve watching the door long after he had left. 

Their relationship was muted in comparison to what it once had been; they used to be so vibrant, so full of life and affection. But this was for the best, Steve told himself. This way, James could live his life, experience all of the wonders that the world had to give, go off for college, and hopefully find a good partner and life.

And he was happy. James seemed happy, too. He was still the firecracker he had always been, and still pilfered Steve’s library as his favorite thing was still a good book.

In October, however, George once again dealt news that crippled Steve.

“They’re getting rid of me,” George said, glass full of Steve’s best brandy, George’s favorite. At the news of George losing his job, Steve immediately offered employment, insisting on hiring George instead, but the man just shook his head.

“My friend, you have been far too generous to us these few years. I could never go so low as to take your money. What kind of man cannot provide for his own family? I won’t allow it.”

There was nothing he could say to change George’s mind.

James, now his own man, would have to find his own way. The Barnes’ had enough money saved to tide them over through the winter, but come spring, they had to leave to find work elsewhere.

Steve was devastated.

This was a family, _his family_ , and he would once again be left. He wasn’t ready to say goodbye to his friends, his family.

He wasn’t ready to say goodbye to James.

It was clear that James and Becca did not want to leave the countryside of York, though no opportunities for employment cropped up despite his and Sam’s insistent digging. The inevitable became a looming cloud over them, and what was once merry Friday night suppers turned quiet and uncomfortable. Steve didn’t know what to do to help.

The idea popped into his head one afternoon he was out with James. They had his hunting dog, Lucky, out on the lawn and watched him chase after the ball James kept throwing for him to fetch. The leaves were turning and Fall was upon them, a gentle reminder of the cold winter to come. James was already bundled in a coat, and he looked beautiful in the bright afternoon sun.

Steve, not spending a single second to think, said the words as they came to him.

“Marry me.”

James turned to look at him, eyes wide and mouth open. Lucky came running back with the ball in his mouth, and dropped at James’ feet. He did not bend down to pick it up.

“What?” James asked, voice high. Steve sighed, putting his face in his hands where he sat under the tree on the hill.

“I’m sorry, please don’t say anything. I know I am a complete ass for even asking you.” He took a deep breath, and looked back up. James fell to his knees and crawled over to Steve.

“James,” he said, taking his hand. “I know you could not have feelings for me, which makes it completely insane that I am even asking this of you,” James’ mouth opened to speak but Steve cut him off. “I’m sorry, do not feel as though I am trying to command you, or to persuade you. This is your decision. I just wish--” he stopped, swallowing his words of affection. “I wish to help your family. You are all so important to me, and I want to give you any help I can. But your father will not take it. So I just had this stupid, crazy thought, that if you--”

“Yes,” James said, promptly shutting Steve up. Steve looked at him, completely baffled.

“What?” He asked, voice doing funny things. James smiled at him, and scooted closer, taking Steve’s other hand in his.

“Yes,” he said, like it was the simplest word in the world. “I’ll marry you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve is _so_ dramatic, I'm sorry.
> 
> Last chapter will have lots of talking and healing, I promise!

The wedding was a simple affair.

The ceremony took place in the small church down the road near their town of York, and they took carriages back to the Rogers’ estate for the celebration. Steve had spoiled James by commissioning his tailor to make the finest suit for him, with a black velvet coat and a silken ruffled cravat at his neck, and the best well-fitted breeches that Steve had ever seen on a man. His waist coat cinched in perfectly, and Steve did his best not to look lasciviously.

While autumn was fully set into the air and the hot summer days were long behind them, they were still able to set up tents, chairs and tables on the lawn by the garden. The grass was still green, the sun shining, and Steve had never been happier.

When Steve stared into James’ eyes at the altar, repeating those words back to the priest, he felt light as a feather and barely tethered to this plain of existence. When their lips met in a kiss to seal their marriage, Steve felt like he could breathe for the first time in a long while.

He was so unbelievably, inconceivably, incandescently happy. 

James was absolutely rutilant. He grinned all day, and he tittered whenever Steve gave him an assessing look to see if he had any regrets yet. James clung to his arm, barely leaving him for a moment. The scent of happy omega-- _James’_ scent of happy omega--filled his nose all day and he hoped it would never leave. When they danced, James rested this head on Steve’s shoulder, holding him tightly like it was the only place he ever wanted to be.

Steve knew better. This was a business arrangement. James was doing this for the family, that was all.

George clapped Steve on the back and shook his head with a smile.

“You absolute moron,” the man said, laughing. He looked well, if not a little flushed from the sherry. Steve felt great affection for the man swell in his chest, amazed at how in just a year and a half, he’d become family. Steve suspected he had always been a part of their family, this just made it official.

After a full day of celebrating, Steve was coming back to his bedroom after a long, hot bath, when he stopped short at the vision in front of him. He was not expecting James to be lounging on his bed.

Steve froze at the sight of the omega spread out on top of his bedsheets in a little lace robe. He was, of course, reading a book and paying no mind to the alpha that just walked into the room.

James finally noticed him and closed his book.

“The hot water in this house is really rival to none,” James said casually, stretching out and putting his long and narrow body on display like he was only there making small talk and not barely naked laying on an alpha’s bed. Steve took several moments to process and form words, and James raised a brow at him to mock his lack of speech.

“Is your room not to your liking?” Steve asked, voice high and nothing akin to what it normally was. He started to busy himself with finding something to wear to sleep so he wasn’t just standing in front of James in nothing but a towel around his waist. There was a long silence that made Steve pause and look up. James was frowning at him.

“I thought you were joking. We have separate beds?” James asked, slinking out of Steve’s bed and padding over to him, barefoot. Steve had to avert his eyes from staring at James’ creamy thighs. “But we are married. You want to send me away already?” He pouted, fat pink bottom lip sticking out. Steve wanted to bite it.

The alpha sighed. “James, the last thing I want to do is make you uncomfortable. This was a--”

“Marriage of business, yes yes, you said.” James said, sass in full force, rolling his eyes and coming even closer. Steve was swiftly reminded of how charmed he was of this omega, sassing an alpha in a skimpy little robe. “Too bad for you that we must consummate our ‘marriage of business,’ isn’t it?” James mocked, and Steve’s jaw fell open. 

The omega wrapped his arms around Steve’s bare bicep, pulling the alpha closer to him. 

“Poor big, strong alpha Captain Rogers, doomed to spend the night in bed with his young, attractive and willing omega,” James continued to tease, slowly walking Steve over to the bed so not to spook him. His steely blue eyes were bright with mischief and laughs.

“James, please,” Steve said, voice growing weak. “We don’t have to-- _oof_.” James had spun and pushed him onto the bed. “James,” Steve said, chastising. The omega just rolled his eyes at him again.

“Steve, I am your _husband_. I want you, you want me. What in the devil’s name is the problem here?” James asked, hands on his hips. His robe had come loose so the folds were wide open to expose his lithe chest. Steve swallowed hard.

 _I’m in love with you but you’re not in love with me,_ he almost said, but didn’t. This was a marriage of convenience, wasn’t it? James felt safe with Steve, felt like this was his duty. That was why he wanted this, wasn’t it? He had the sinking worry that the separation he put them through was all for naught, that James had latched onto the alpha before he even presented and now he was doomed to forever be connected to him.

He was at fault for this. He was the reason for James--

“What, does your knot have trouble inflating or something?” James asked, full of sass and making Steve choke on his own breath. “Because that’s perfectly fine, even if you--”

“There is _nothing_ wrong with my anatomy,” Steve said, raising his voice. James smirked, and Steve realized that the omega played him so easily, appealing to an alpha’s pride. What a little stinker. This seemed to appease James.

“Good,” the omega said. “Then show me.”

~*~

Bedding James was single handedly the most erotic thing Steve had ever experienced. He, of course, was no virgin--he had been married to Peggy, for gods sake. Even before Peggy, he had indulged himself in the occasional comfort of omegas, betas, and alphas alike in the military. 

But James--James was special.

He climbed into Steve’s lap, demanding to be kissed silly. His robe fell open, and he encouraged Steve to touch him, anywhere and everywhere. Steve was absolutely helpless to it; as soon as he started running his hands over the supple flesh of Jame’s shoulders and back, he had to touch him everywhere.

He felt drunk, suddenly, on the change in scent. James’ scent turned hotter, like ripe strawberries in the heat of summer, or freshly-picked wildflowers. Steve felt like his body had a mind of its own, touching James wherever he could while their mouths danced around the heat of their kiss.

James was the one to feel around for Steve’s cock, folding back the towel that had unwinded around his waist. James palmed it in his hand, and Steve groaned, head swimming from the smell of aroused omega. It had been so long since anyone had touched him--years of his own lonely hand. His fingers dipped down into the cleft of James’ ass without his brain telling them to, and the moment he felt the wet slick his mind short-circuited. 

He stood up, taking James with him. The omega squealed and laughed, holding on until Steve turned around and threw him back down onto the bed. Steve then, quite literally, ripped the robe off of the omega to expose his whole naked body. Steve was mad from the sight, his body suddenly on a mission to touch and kiss James everywhere possible.

The omega sensually crawled into the middle of the bed and bent forward on his hands and knees, presenting. He had a little smirk on his pouty lips, like he was challenging Steve. Challenging his alpha.

Steve grabbed handfuls of James’ supple ass, squeezing and kneading rather harshly. The noises coming out of James were just egging Steve on, further sending the alpha into madness. He couldn’t help himself then, with a ready and willing omega in his sheets, moaning for him. Nobody could blame him.

He needed a taste.

He bent down, holding James open with his hands still kneading his ass, and licked from the bottommost part he could reach all the way up the crack. James moaned loudly, further falling into the presenting position. Steve licked and licked, swirling his tongue around the little furl before finally dipping in.

The taste was heady, and his mind fogged as he was encased in the smell of aroused omega. _His_ aroused omega.

He sat there for several minutes licking James open before stuffing a finger in to loosen him up. James was making the prettiest mewling noises, gripping at the sheets on his bed--their bed. Steve growled, feeling a wave of possession roll over him. He shoved another finger in, thrusting them in and out, swirling them around and opening them inside of James to stretch him further.

 _“Alpha,”_ James begged, reaching back to grab Steve’s wrist. The sound of his omega calling him made him growl and pull his fingers out, smelling a fresh wave of slick trickle down the omega’s thighs. “Alpha, _please,_ ” he begged, so sweetly.

Steve flipped him, needing to face him, needing to kiss him. He crawled over him, pressing kisses anywhere and everywhere he could on the way up. He lingered on his neck, imagining a mark there; a mark to bind them together. Of course he couldn’t, though. 

James held him tightly by the shoulders and pulled him down for another kiss as he opened up his legs and invited him in.

Kissing his omega as he pressed in, slowly sheathing himself in his omega’s tight little body, was a feeling Steve would never forget. He groaned low, and swallowed James’ soft sighs and moans. Steve knew he was a big man, though not the biggest. But his girth was something James needed to adjust to before he started letting his instincts carry them away.

James looked up at him, then, and smiled as he brushed Steve’s bangs out of his eyes. Steve was enthralled by the sight, by the intimacy. He never thought he would be this blessed. Even if James didn’t love him back, even if--

“ _Alpha,_ ” James moaned. “Steve, _please._ ”

And oh, he asked so nicely.

Steve held him tight as he started fucking him, feeling that sweet slide of his omega’s slick. They lost themselves to it; it was the most perfect thing Steve had felt intimately. Their bodies were so raw and open to each other, eyes staring deeply into one another with their mouths open and barely touching.

Steve had to close his eyes, situate his weight on his elbows and knees as he drove into the omega. He lifted James’ bottom higher to get a better angle and James wailed, clawing at Steve’s back and tightening his thighs around his sides.

“So good for me, omega,” Steve praised, voice low and rough and James--

James whined and came, messily, all over his stomach, his ass clenching down on Steve’s cock, milking him. James was still making such pretty noises as he continued to fuck him, and he swore, feeling his knot start to form.

He wanted to press it in and deep, lock up that sweet hole, but he shouldn’t. This was enough, wasn’t it? Steve could die a happy man. He made his omega come, he should pull out and--

James locked his legs around his waist in a vice grip, holding onto Steve so tight and pressing his heels into Steve’s tailbone. He pulled Steve’s face back enough to stare him in the eyes when he said, _“Knot me, alpha.”_

Steve snarled and saw white, pounding harder and faster, punching out those whines from his omega. He pushed in--and in, and in until finally his knot popped in and he was coming harder than he ever had in his entire life. James was wailing, squirming on his knot as it inflated and he came, and came. Steve pressed in deep, rolling his hips as he tested how snug he was. James clawed at his shoulders and came again, so perfectly, just from Steve’s knot.

They lay tied together for quite some time, breathing heavily and staring at each other. Steve wanted to say something, apologize, _anything._ He felt such guilt, even though his mind was buzzing with happy alpha hormones. James just smiled at him and pushed his hair out of his eyes again, stroking down Steve’s cheek.

“Nothing wrong with your anatomy after all,” he said with a chuckle. Steve reached down and pinched his buttcheek, causing James to squirm and choke out something between a laugh and a moan.

This man was going to be the death of him.

~*~

Life was more or less the same after they married. Except it was really back to how it was before the separation; James was teasing him constantly, hanging off his arm, making his big, empty estate smell like happy omega.

Steve fell a little bit in love with this life, even though he was patiently waiting for enough time to pass before giving James an out. James was only eighteen, barely nineteen now, and Steve had turned a lonely thirty years old over the summer. Surely James would want to go out into the world and explore, wouldn’t he? Meet more people, experiment, sexually. 

Just the thought of the omega being with others sent a hot and possessive wave of rage through his body. But he knew he’d have to get used to the idea. James married him to save his family--he couldn’t want to stay with Steve forever.

And Steve knew he had to get familiar with the idea of letting James go. 

It was winter now, and the two couldn’t do a whole lot with the amount of snow the village was getting this season. James had the idea to invite the family and Sam along to go sledding down the big hill on their estate, and Steve was happy to agree to anything that made his omega happy.

They spent a happy afternoon on the hill, James with his rosey cheeks and twinkling laughter. Rebecca was growing into a pretty young lady and did not let that stop her from tackling James and shoveling snow onto his head.

“You know, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen you this happy,” George said, stepping beside him. Steve flushed and shrugged, happy to watch his family play in the snow. George clapped him on the shoulder with a laugh. “I’m so glad you two finally took your heads out of your asses! What a jolly union this is.”

Steve forced himself to look cheerful. He couldn’t tell George that this jolly union was only to keep them from having to move away and live in destitution. He and James had sworn to each other to never tell.

The rest of the day continued, and they retired to the estate to enjoy hot cocoa before a nice meal. James had continued to look rosey for the rest of the evening, and by bedtime he insisted that he felt fine as he crawled into their bed.

“Steve, I’m _fine,_ will you give it a rest? Big, strong alpha doesn’t need to protect,” he teased. Steve huffed and grabbed James, tucking him into his chest.

“Just take my affection, you brat. Lucky I don’t throw you back out in the snow,” he said with a playful growl. James just laughed and snuggled closer.

Of course, by morning, James was sick.

And Steve had _absolutely no idea what to do._

His mind was frantic with worry as he paced their bedroom, nervously watching Wanda tend to his omega.

“Steve, _I’m fine._ It’s just a bit of a cold,” James laughed, but Steve did not. He paced, and insisted on Wanda giving him a job to do to help. She tasked him with running to the village to get ingredients for a bone broth that always kicked Steve’s health up three notches. 

He kissed James goodbye six times before the omega laughed and pushed him away. Steve did not laugh. He was, in fact, riddled with worry as he mounted his best horse and raced to town. His fingers shook, not from the cold, but from anxiety as he hurried through his task. He barely greeted the townsfolk, quick to say his errand was an emergency and that he must get back to his husband.

When he returned, James was asleep. Wanda rubbed his shoulder and took the items from him.

“Steve,” she said, comfortingly. “It isn’t like last time. It really is just a cold,” she said, voice low. 

Steve stood, watching his omega sleeping peacefully in their bed. His vision started to swim with tears.

“It was just a cold last time, too,” he said, voice harsh and breaking though he tried to be quiet. 

He called in Dr. Banner, knotted worry in his stomach, spiking as the doctor hadn’t been to his estate since Peggy’s passing. The doctor calmly talked Steve down, and said that James’ symptoms all point to a simple cold, and to call him back if they escalated any.

He still insisted on sitting with James for the duration of his cold, getting him anything and everything his little heart wanted. James continued to tease him for over-worrying, and Steve did his best to smile though he knew it didn’t reach his eyes.

It was on the third day that James woke up from a nap to find Steve again at his side. He cupped the alpha’s face with his hands and leaned forward to kiss his forehead before resting his own head there.

“I already feel better, see? You took care of me. I’m so lucky,” he said, voice soft. Steve sniffed and closed his eyes, covering James’ hands with his own. “My sweet husband, I’m not going to leave you,” he said gently. A sob wracked through Steve’s chest.

“You cannot promise me that,” he rasped. James leaned back, holding his eyes with his own.

“Yes I can,” James vowed. “You were dumb enough to ask me to marry you. Take responsibility for your actions, Captain Rogers, and let me stay by your side,” James said with conviction. Steve couldn’t bear the thought--either thought; either holding James captive from the world or setting him free and losing him forever. Both options were immensely painful.

James pet his hair as he calmed down, head fitting perfectly into the omega’s lap. When Steve finally quieted, James asked in a soft voice: “Tell me about her?”

Steve took a shaky breath.

“We met in Cape Heights, where I was first stationed in the military,” he said, eyes trailing around the bedroom she once slept in with him, a room that once held her presence. “She was a beta, but I could not have cared about such a trivial thing. Back then, I was very small. But she saw past that,” he said.

James hummed and continued to pet through his hair.

“We’d been married for about a year when she got sick.” He swallowed thickly, trying to keep his tears at bay. “It was over very quickly. Less than a week.”

James leant down and pressed a kiss to his temple, wrapping his arms around him the best he could. They stayed like that for half an hour or so. Remembering dear Peggy’s end was always hard, but it hurt a bit less being in his omega’s arms.

~*~

Winter thankfully passed with no other health scares. Steve and James had the rest of the Barnes’ over for their usual Friday night dinners, and James insisted on bedding Steve at least several times a week.

_At least._

“It is part of my husbandly duties,” James teased as he pushed Steve down onto the bed, shedding his usual night robe. He was fond of cornering Steve when he was fresh out of a bath or getting changed into his sleeping clothes, or right in the morning sun when they’ve both woken up to the new day. Bedding James in the bright morning sun never ceased to make Steve’s blood run hot.

James pulled Steve’s cock right out of his sleep pants and swiftly sank down on it, completely shocking Steve.

“Ohh, there it is,” James moaned, bringing himself fully seated. Steve’s head went dizzy at the sight of his omega over him, taking charge. “I missed this,” he hissed, bringing himself up and back down. Steve could barely hold on, watching James’ ass swallow up his cock every time he sank back down.

“We just bedded yesterday,” Steve gasped, eyes rolling back into his head as James started to go faster.

The omega moaned. “Your point?”

They finished with Steve snuggly knotted inside, James practically purring with satisfaction.

“Insatiable,” Steve accused with a smile. James just nodded, happily agreeing.

Steve felt spoiled, and guilty. He knew he should prepare himself for James’ eventual departure, but he was selfishly ignoring it. James was so bright, and filled his lonely life with merriment and laughter. He could not imagine a morning without the omega pressed close to him, or a dinner without James playfully kicking him under the table. Steve was starting to fear that he’d never survive James leaving him, but he knew it to be an inevitability. 

He regretted his stubborn blindness to this matter when it came.

It was later that week that James received a letter. Well, a letter for _Bucky Barnes_ ended up in his mail.

“Bucky?” Steve had asked over breakfast. James had practically jumped with joy when Wanda brought him the thick envelope, his silverware clattering onto the table as he rushed to open it. 

“That is what my friends from Paris call me. There were two James’,” he supplied. Steve nodded absentmindedly, his curiosity getting the best of him as he looked over at James reading his letter.  
He hadn’t heard much of James’ time in Paris. He knew that he spent the summer studying at the university there, and that he had an interest in reading more about history and politics once he reacclimated himself to the library. He said the food was amazing, and the weather was nice.

The omega laughed and his cheeks brightened as he read. Steve felt like he was trespassing on a private moment, but he couldn't help but inquire.

“And what are your friends’ names?” he asked, trying to sound just the right amount of interested.

“Well there was Clint and Natasha, and Peter was quite fun. This here is Darcy, though. We joke that she was my soulmate in another life,” he laughed, smiling down at his letter. “We became such fast friends. She understands me in a way no one ever has before, I think,” James said. 

Steve tried to smile, tried to ask more about his friends, but his heart had stopped cold in his chest.

This was just another reminder of what he’s done to this man; forcing him into this bond, grooming him the way he did before he even presented. Here James was, trapped in this arrangement, when he had friends elsewhere--maybe even potential suitors, elsewhere. Steve suddenly felt sick with himself and had to excuse himself from the table.

He sent a letter to Sam shortly after, deciding again that he should go to town to do his business for the season. He felt it was probably time to start distancing himself from James if he were going to implement the separation soon.

Surely James would want out by now. George had found a few good inquiries for work that seemed promising, and the Barnes’ would have a healthy settlement for the separation once it was complete. Steve would bleed his wealth dry if it meant making sure they stayed happy and healthy.

But would they want to stay in York, so close to Steve, once he and James separated? Would they blame him? Would they understand?

By the next day, Steve was packing his things. James walked in the bedroom and abruptly stopped.

“What are you doing?” He asked, stepping forward to see Steve packing two bags. Steve cleared his throat.

“Urgent business, I need to get to town to take care of a few things. Shouldn’t be longer than a week, I think,” he said, not looking at James. He couldn’t, couldn’t look.

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I can pack my things right away--”

“No,” Steve said, standing up straight and finally looking at him. James was frowning, but he mostly looked confused. “No, I think it best if you stayed here, took care of the house. I shouldn’t be gone long,” he said, and turned to go back to packing.

“A week is a long time,” James said, voice getting harder. Angrier. “And what? You marry me but want to keep me out of the business? Why can’t I come? I am your husband, I should come to town with you,” James argued, moving around to get in front of Steve and make him stop packing. 

“You can’t come because I need you here, James. Why don’t you invite your sister over? Or one of your friends? I won’t be gone long, but I have to leave right this moment,” he said, getting frantic. James’ mouth kept turning into a deeper and deeper frown.

“You’re doing it again,” he said, sounding angry now, almost disbelieving. “I can’t believe I thought this would end once we married but you’re just doing it _again._ Tell me, what have I done now?” James demanded, stepping in front of Steve again. The alpha huffed, getting annoyed, getting frantic.

“Don’t be dramatic, James. You didn’t do anything, I just have urgent business,” he repeated, and moved around to get back to his suitcase. He slammed it closed and pulled it off the bed.

“Fine!” James yelled after him as he left the bedroom. “Fine, go. Run away like you always do. I’ll be here tending to the _omega_ duties of the estate,” he snapped, voice laden with anger. Steve whipped around.

“Don’t you make me out to be reducing you to your designation. I am going to town on urgent business. I shouldn’t be gone longer than a week. Now, I must go. Please, take care. Goodbye,” he said, angry and broken at the same time. James didn’t follow him then, staring wide-eyed as he left.

He packed the carriage and didn’t look to see if James was anywhere near to watch him leave.

The tree stood empty at the top of the hill.

~*~

Once he arrived in town after the long journey, he threw himself into work. His usual room at the inn he stayed at was reminiscent of the last time he had been here, during another of his self-induced separation from James. The unhappy memories made him more frantic while he worked, and he caught himself making several mistakes, costing him time and energy.

Sam just shook his head at Steve and went about his business, stopping the next day in the early afternoon to try and get Steve to go out with him and call on some old friends. Steve felt dizzy with stress, denying the offer in favor of getting more work done. At least he could return home with something to show for his abrupt leave, even though this trip was by no means urgent or necessary.

He filed what he had to with the clerks and filled out the necessary forms about his income and property with the state. It wasn’t until the late afternoon of the third day of his stay that he started to lose his steam, and felt awful for the way he had left and not having sent a letter to James to let him know he made it safely to town.

He rushed to write a letter, apologizing and saying he should be back earlier than expected. Already he missed James terribly, and was ashamed of how he had acted. He was constantly losing the fight within himself to loosen his grip on the omega. He was in far too deep at this point, and feared he’d never be able to let him go.

He sent the letter with urgency and turned in for the night early.

When he woke on the fourth day, he knew everything was wrong. He woke up hot and sweating with a livid headache behind his eyes. His skin felt too tight around his body, like he had grown suddenly. Sam took one look, one whiff of him and frowned.

“Are you seriously going into rut right now? Jesus Steve, we need to get you home!” Sam started to rush around the room, but Steve stopped him.

“No, no. I have to stay here. Don’t write to James, I can just wait it out,” he said, determined though his body felt like it was on fire. Sam tried to object but Steve just locked himself in his room.

He couldn’t force James to go through his rut with him, he knew. That would just be too cruel.

Except this wasn’t a normal rut. It felt like it was a hundred times more intense than any rut he had ever gone through. He couldn’t keep food down even though he was ravenous, and any sound was like it was too loud. His body itched at all of the smells that were wrong--he should be at home, in his own territory, with _his omega._

His brain was reduced to near-primal thinking by the second day, growling at Sam’s challenging alpha scent when he came to check on him.

It took everything for Sam to get him into his carriage and send him home. By then, Steve was much too weak to fight and instead spent the entire trip home in a heated daze. It hadn’t mattered how many times he came, his body would not ease up. The rut was like a fire in his stomach that set his whole body ablaze.

When they finally made it home, Sam having ridden atop the carriage with the statesman, someone frantically called for James. Steve tried to protest, but when his omega came to the door and saw the state Steve was in, he felt so much shame he just gave in.

He let James guide him up the stairs on wobbly legs and pushed him into the bedroom. Steve practically fell into bed and wrapped the covers around himself tightly. The smell of distressed omega was sending him spiraling, and the lack of food and intense feelings of rut put such a conflicting feeling in him that he whined and tried to get away.

James crawled onto the bed and tried to pry the covers away from Steve.

“Steve, c’mon. Come here, Steve, let me help you,” James said, voice soft and nothing like it was when Steve had left.

The alpha shook his head violent, making the room spin.

“ _Steve,_ ” James begged, still trying to uncover him.

“ _No,_ ” Steve protested, throat dry and scratchy. “I can’t, please go. I don’t want--don’t want to hurt you,” he urged, a frantic edge to his words. James sighed, and laid down next to him.

“Alpha, please. You won’t hurt me. Please let me help,” he implored, pawing at Steve’s covered body. Steve said nothing. “Steve, sweetheart, you smell so hurt. Please, let me help you,” he begged. Steve just moaned, softly crying.

He was hurt. He hurt everywhere; his bones felt like lava in him, his cock rubbed raw to no avail. He felt dizzy with want and need but so, so conflicted about hurting his omega.

“I can’t--I can’t hurt you,” he rasped, shaking with it. “I’d never forgive myself if I hurt you.”

James made a wounded noise.

“ _Steve,_ ” he begged, trying to pull the covers off of him when finally he managed to pry them out of Steve’s grasp and uncover Steve’s face. James cupped Steve’s cheek and the alpha instantly groaned, eyes fluttering closed. “Sweetheart,” James murmured, leaning in to press his lips to Steve’s. Steve just shook his head.

James sighed and laid back on the bed.

“Fine, you want me to play dirty? I’ll play dirty,” he said, and promptly stripped himself of all of his clothing.

He laid next to Steve, gripping his erection in his hand and started stroking slowly.

“You see this, alpha?” he asked, and Steve couldn’t help but open his eyes to peek at the noises. “This shows you, I want you. I want to help you. _Please, alpha,_ ” he begged again and Steve watched as James reached his right hand down past his balls to plunge two fingers into himself.

The room was suddenly overtaken by the sweet smell of his omega’s slick, the sounds of James fingering himself and moaning, begging for his alpha to take him. Steve, quite literally, couldn’t help himself.

He threw the covers off of himself, and scrambled to get between James’ thighs. He pushed James’ legs up until the omega was practically bent in half, and lowered his face down to where his fingers were stuffed inside himself.

“ _Another,_ ” he rasped, his own voice unfamiliar to his ears. James whined high and loud, and followed the command by tucking in his ring finger in with the other two. Steve leant down to run his tongue along James’ knuckles, fingers, and where they were tucked inside his hole. The taste of his omega eased something inside his rut-riddled brain, finally giving him some comfort.

“You have to tell me to stop if it’s too much,” Steve commanded, earning a whine from James. He leant back more, forcing himself to stop and check in with the omega before succumbing to his rut. 

“James,” he said harshly, and the omega looked up at him, cheeks flushed and so, so pretty. “James, ruts are different. I--” he stumbled over his words, swallowing down the shame. “I lose control over myself. Even just stopping myself now is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

And it was true; his arms were shaking, and his bones like hot steel under his skin. Every molecule of his body was screaming to breed his omega, knot him and fill him up over and over until he was dry. James just looked up at him dreamily, and pulled his fingers out of himself.

“Then don’t stop yourself,” he said, breathy and wanton and so, so perfect.

Steve’s vision blacked out and he came to a second later as he flipped James over, roughly pushing his limbs around until the omega was where he wanted him. His omega just gasped and moaned, pliable and allowing Steve to do as he liked. Later, Steve would wonder if he was forcing himself to be that allowing, or if it was an omega quality to submit to an alpha in rut. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know the answer.

When he pushed his aching cock into his sweet omega, it was like the best feeling he’d ever felt. His whole body and mind were overcome with instinct, the insistent yelling in his head that said _claim, breed, knot omega_. Blood was rushing through his body so loud, he could barely make out the moans and whines of his omega as he snarled and fucked.

The wet slap of his hips against the omega’s ass was loud, and he gripped his hips so tightly a small voice in his head worried he’d leave bruises. _Good,_ he thought, crazy with it; mark up his omega, show everyone who is his.

He felt his omega’s first orgasm, it was so violent that it made his little body contort and shake, and his cries grow loudly. Steve didn’t let up, or go any slower. He leaned forward, encasing the body below his with his own, changing the angle and grinding his cock in. The omega gasped, making the sweetest noises he’d ever heard. It made his head fuzzy, his body hot, and made him growl and fuck even harder.

He blew his knot and shoved it harshly inside, knotting his sweet omega so perfectly. He came and came, finally feeling some relief from the burning inside of him. They both breathed heavily, not speaking, and by the time he felt himself go a little mad with the tight, hot, wet heat around him, he started to fuck again without his knot even fully going down.

It felt like it went on like this for hours, his omega coming over and over again on his cock, his knot. He’d flip him over, bend him in half, and stick his cock right back in where it belonged. He gripped harshly, holding him down, putting him in his place. He bit whenever he wanted, sucking pretty bruises on his omega’s creamy pale skin.

It felt like days had passed, but it was still dark outside. They were practically fucking in a large wet spot of slick and the come that had trickled out of the omega’s hole. Finally, after a last earth-shattering orgasm, he tied his omega up and pulled him sideways so that he was spooning him. The smell of a sated, happy omega put his weary body to sleep almost instantly.

~*~

He woke to birds chirping and sun shining through his window. His rut still coursed through his veins, but it was muted now, much more manageable like his passed ones. His stomach ached it was so hungry, and his body felt loose and flimsy like a wet leaf.

He was alone.

He sighed deeply, and tried to keep his horrible thoughts at bay. A voice in his head whispered that James must have left him. He worried, his chest growing hollow and achy, that he hurt James. That James saw what he truly was; a mindless alpha meant to take and take until he’d had his fill.

He was reminded, once again, how much he had hurt James since this union. It had only been five months now, but his chest ached with the thought of how horrible he’s been. How badly James must want out.

“Why do you smell so sad, you silly alpha?” James asked, pushing past the bedroom door with a large tray of food in his hands. Steve stared at him in wonder, confused as his mind worked through what he was seeing. 

James set down the tray of food before him, and stood back with his hands on his hips with a proud smile. He was dressed in a thicker and longer robe, hair a little wild but pulled back in his usual updo. He smelled of alpha rut and come. Steve’s brain short circuited a bit.

“Now, eat please. Sam told me you’d barely had anything to eat in days. You probably worked yourself into fainting to sleep last night,” James teased, and started cleaning around the room. “And eat it all! I’ve already had breakfast,” he said, somehow knowing that Steve’s rut brain had gone straight to needing to save food for his omega.

Steve looked down at the tray, full with plates of fruit, bread, eggs, and sliced tomatoes. He was _ravenous,_ and started to devour every bit of food on his plate. 

James started pulling the cases off of the pillows, and stripping the bed up to where Steve was sat on it. He also threw their clothes into a pile, and once he was done, Steve was finishing the last piece of bread and chugging down the juice and tea.

“Now, I’d asked Wanda to draw us a bath. We’re absolutely _filthy,_ ” he said, beaming. Steve was dumbfounded, but was in no state to question his happy omega. He let James herd him out of the bedroom and into their ajorning bath completely nude.

James fretted around with the tub full of hot water, and urged Steve to get in as he went about collecting the soaps and towels. Steve sunk into the hot water, feeling all of his muscles in his body relax at once. He hadn’t realized just how sore he was after the strains of the previous night.

He looked up just in time to see James strip himself of his robe, and the sight made Steve freeze, his heart raging in his chest.

James was absolutely covered in bruises and marks. Despite his smiling face as he turned to climb into the tub with Steve, he had grip marks on his hips, bruises all along his shoulders and neck, and various other marks around his body. At the sharp smell of Steve’s distress, his head shot up and looked at Steve curiously.

“What is it?” James asked, completely unaware. Had he not seen? Could he not _feel_? Steve let out a dry sob and covered his face with his hands.

“Gods, how could you ever forgive me?” He asked, voice rough with emotion. He felt James fully immerse himself into the water and came over into Steve’s lap. He grasped Steve’s hands and pulled them away from his face.

“Alpha,” James said, which was apparently the right thing to say because Steve’s chest filled with love and affection despite the horrors he committed to James’ body. “Alpha,” he repeated, moving in close, making sure Steve was looking back at him. “I loved sharing last night with you. No forgiveness is needed; you did nothing wrong,” he said, voice so gentle and sweet.

Steve immediately thought James to be lying, and then consequently felt terrible for thinking it. “ _James,_ ” he said, his voice almost failing him. The omega just smiled and leaned forward so their foreheads were pressed together, and wrapped his arms around the bigger man.

“I love sharing my body with you,” James said in a hushed whisper, like it was a secret just for Steve. “I love it when you take care of me, and how good you make me feel. I love wearing your marks as a reminder.” James’ words soothed Steve’s ache, and he felt his body relax under his omega’s gentle embrace.

“And I loved helping you. Sam said you tried to fight it, which made it worse. But it was the first time we were separated since we’ve been intimate, so your body was probably protesting. I felt it, too,” he said, making Steve open his eyes in question. 

“The hurt,” James said, clarifying. “Felt like a piece of myself was missing.”

Steve knew the feeling. When Peggy died, it felt like his chest had been carved open and emptied. He’d heard of tales where people lost their mates and were so affected by their pain they’d be driven to take their own lives. But they had been mated, so it was conceivable. With James, though, Steve had been feeling that loss since he realized James was going to present as an omega, before they’d even been intimate.

Why was that? They weren’t mated; Steve had at least been in sound enough mind to avoid Jame’s left side of his neck, avoided marking him and binding James to him. And yet, they still felt each others’ loss when apart. 

What had Steve done to this sweet omega? Could it ever be reversible?

James quickly eased his mind by kissing him. Steve’s rut was still tapering off, and he couldn’t keep his cock from hardening even though he had thoroughly exhausted them both last night.

James seated himself in Steve’s lap, facing him and encircling his arms around Steve’s neck as they kissed. Steve couldn’t help but hold James in return, and moaned low when the omega reached into the water to hold the alpha’s cock so he could ease himself onto it.

Jame worked himself on Steve’s cock, slow and sweet. He must have been sore and chaffed, but he was still slick enough inside to make the drag delicious. The water rippled at their movements, and Steve was going dizzy with the heat of it.

James rocked gently, his mouth never far from Steve’s for long. The sloshing water was the only noise outside of their heavy breathing and soft moans. James brought them both to climax, and they sunk into the water, the omega’s face tucked into Steve’s neck.

James mumbled something into his neck, but Steve’s mind was still fuzzy and exhausted. He closed his eyes and breathed in the smell of his happy and sated omega.

~*~

It was a month later when Steve was writing a letter to a friend in town, James walked into his office curled in on himself. He smelled anxious, and Steve dropped his quill immediately and went to him.

“My dear, are you alright?” He asked, worried by the apprehensive omega.

James’ eyes were wide and damp, his lip quivering a bit. He swallowed, and when he spoke his voice sounded weak and anxious.

“I uh, I’ve been feeling rather ill lately,” he confessed, and Steve’s stomach dropped. _It’s happening again,_ he thought immediately. Almost as if James knew exactly what Steve thought, he let out a hysterical laugh and shook his head.

“No, no, alpha. I’m--I--” he stopped, took a deep breath, and smiled. “Steve, my heat is late,” he said.

Steve’s brain stopped. The whole world stopped, frozen in time.

“Steve, I think I’m pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> Let me know what you think?


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, finally the end!
> 
> Make sure to continue to heed the warnings. There is mildly dubious consent, but everything is okay and happy I promise!!
> 
> Thank you everyone for your support, it really means so much. I hope you all enjoy the ending. <3

Steve thought he had the sense of mind to make an urgent call upon Dr. Banner. He also thought he had the sense to sit James down and called Wanda to fetch him some water. But apart from those two events, he could not recall the better part of the previous hour.

He blinked up at the great grandfather clock there in his study. It was a clock that had been in his family for a number of generations, but it had never looked more foreign to him than in that moment. The ticking noise of the seconds gone by echoed in his head; the only noise in the quiet room beside his own breathing.

He didn’t know what to think.

James very well may not be pregnant. But, James may very well _be_. Steve had been ignorant and blind, thinking that because James was male, he could more than likely not conceive. Male omegas were notorious for their inability to successfully contrive a pregnancy. Steve had been so preoccupied with the conflicting thoughts about their relationship, marriage, and acts of intimacy that it had not even crossed his mind.

For heaven sake, it had been _seven months_ by now that they have been married, been intimate. And just now?

He was a stupid man.

He swallowed harshly on the threatening well of emotions bubbling under the surface. This must be a result of his horrid rut form the month previous. He knew he should have stayed at that inn. James wouldn’t have had to go through it with it, and maybe they wouldn’t be in the situation they were in.

Of course, James instigated the sex the most. He was so carefree with his body around Steve, always full of laughter and teasing. Steve should have known better, did more to stop the nonsense. He should have insisted they stay separate.

But Steve was weak to the omega. He could not help himself from indulging in the omega’s every whim. 

And now they were here.

Wanda walked in just then, calling him into the drawing room where Dr. Banner was with James.

He walked in, mind frantic. Perhaps James was just sick. But even that thought made Steve queasy in his stomach, thinking that his omega may be ill. Nothing good would come of this situation.

He went to sit in a chair separate from James, but the omega reached out to him and Steve immediately went to his side. Weak, of course. He was so weak.

Once the two were settled, Dr. Banner lent back in his chair and took a deep breath.

“It is still very early to tell,” he said, and something inside Steve cracked at the words. He didn’t know what it meant for him to have this reaction, but he couldn’t help it. “But I suspect that James is pregnant. My best guess would be a little over a month.”

Steve’s mouth fell open, eyes distant. He wasn’t sure what he was looking at; all he knew was that he couldn’t process the words. Dr. Banner continued after several moments of silence.

“Just to be safe, keep to minimal tasks around the house and do not overexert yourself, James. Male omega pregnancies are already highly unlikely, and we want to keep you in the best state of mind to ensure that this pregnancy remains valid,” he said.

Steve went to speak but his voice failed. 

He felt James squeeze his hand.

“And what are our options,” Steve found himself saying, looking at the doctor. “For termination?”

The room went silent.

The clock ticking.

Dr. Banner had a clear look of surprise on his face. He composed himself and adjusted his glasses. “Well--”

“ _What?_ ” He heard hissed to his right, and that was when he finally turned to look at James.

The look on the omega's face was indescribable. His brows were twisted in anger, eyes dark, mouth turned into a frown. He dropped Steve’s hand. 

“ _You don’t want this child_?” And oh, Steve had never heard James like this--he had of course yelled at Steve before, but this was so much worse. This was like James had been slapped across the face, like he had been betrayed. The omega stood up suddenly, taking a few steps back. “How could you not want this child? Is it _me_?” He asked, voice getting a bit hysterical. He sounded panicked and angry, like someone had kidnapped his sister. Steve didn’t understand. 

He asked the only question that he could think to ask.

“Wouldn’t a child make our separation more difficult?”

He did not notice Dr. Banner’s reaction as James flinched so hard it was like someone smacked him. Steve didn’t understand. _He didn’t understand._ Wasn’t that their plan? Wasn’t that what they were going to do?

“ _What?!_ ” James near-shrieked, and it made Steve jump up and take a step back.

“Why are you reacting this way?” He asked, which was not the proper question because James’ face became so red Steve thought steam was going to blow out of his ears. The omega violently pointed at him, and yelled.

“How _dare_ you say that to me! After everything we’ve been through, everything we _shared_!” He yelled. Dr. Banner was then actively trying to calm James down by getting between the two of them, muttering about the pregnancy not suitable for high-stress situations.

“Isn’t that what we spoke about, James?” Steve asked, voice pleading for the omega to understand. “I don’t understand. If you want to have this child, of course I will support you,” he rushed to say, and James seemed to have liked that response. He sat himself down at the urging of Dr. Banner, and took a deep breath.

“I had just thought you would want to separate with no attachments. But I could take care of the child. Or of course support you if you wanted it when you left,” he said.

Dr. Banner put his face in his hands. James just stared at him, mouth open and eyes wide.

It was a long moment before anyone said anything.

“That is what you think of me?” James asked, and it broke Steve’s heart because his voice was cracked and wobbly around rising tears. Steve opened his mouth to reply, but Dr. Banner came between them.

“ _Gentlemen,_ ” he said. He took a deep breath and checked the time on his wrist watch. “Alright, male omega pregnancies are high risk. They’re not typical. And for that, it makes termination difficult and unlikely,” he said. James seemed to have sighed in relief at that, but Dr. Banner continued. “But not impossible, if one really wishes.”

“I don’t,” James was quick to say, staring right at Steve. “I do not wish to terminate. I want this child, whether _alpha_ does or not.”

The way he had said _alpha_ was spitting, clear fury behind his words.

_Steve didn’t understand._

Steve went to reply, say he wanted whatever James wanted he just--he just didn’t understand! Why would James want a baby if it would make their separation more difficult?

“Captain,” Dr. Banner said, almost harshly. It was the hardest tone the doctor had ever used on him, making Steve look at him, so raw and confused. Banner looked at him, and sighed at his expression, seemingly taking pity on him.

“Captain, James needs to stay out of stressful situations. Please, I beg of you, do not press this issue,” he implored. 

The doctor and James were both staring at him. Steve nodded, slowly. They both seemed to breathe easier when he did.

“I support whatever James’ decision is,” he said, vowed. He didn’t think James liked that response, as he was still staring at him with hard eyes. But he didn’t say anything else.

“Okay, good. I have to go to another appointment, but I shall visit you again next week to see how you are progressing, James,” Dr. Banner said. The omega just nodded, not taking his eyes off of Steve.

Steve walked the doctor to the door. Before he left, he held Steve on the shoulder and gave him a small smile.

“Captain,” he said, voice gentle but firm. “It is imperative for your omega’s good health to be as supportive as possible,” he said. Steve gulped, and felt his eyes fill with tears. He looked away.

“I understand,” he said. Banner patted him again, and went on his way.

~*~

The following week was cold and uncomfortable. James barely spoke to Steve, and did not do more than share meals and a bed with him. Steve did not want to intrude, as he had clearly upset James considerably. He locked himself away in his study, remembering with shame the biting words that James had thrown at him the last time that had a tiff.

_“I can’t believe I thought this would end once we married but you’re just doing it again. Tell me, what have I done now?”_

Steve knew of course that he always ran when he felt that he should. He thought distance was a good way to make issues more manageable. He thought James deserved the space, needed the space. 

By now he should have realized that it always just hurt more.

The next week, Dr. Banner came back as promised. He found Steve in his study after he checked on James.

“This is still stressing him far too greatly,” he said. Steve felt his heart sink. “You must speak with him. Solve this issue, or it may hurt both the child and him.”

Steve nodded, agreeing to do as told. He wasn’t sure how to fix this. He didn’t know what James wanted.

He waited until night, as they were both getting tucked into bed. Steve sat up against the pillows and headboard on his side of the bed.

“James,” he said softly. The omega just pulled his covers up to his neck and turned away from him. “James, I’m sorry. We should talk about this,” Steve said. 

The omega huffed, and sat up to sit next to Steve, but several inches apart. He crossed his arms and looked forward, refusing to look at the alpha. It hurt Steve’s chest.

“Well?” James asked, bitingly. Steve sighed and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I want to support you. I just don’t understand the situation,” he confessed, hoping his words wouldn’t frustrate James further. The omega’s head whipped to the side to look at him.

“What do you not understand?” He demanded in a fit of pique. “I am pregnant with your child and I want to keep it. Why is that so hard to understand?”

Steve covered his face with his hands. “I just don’t understand what this means for our separation,” he said into his palms, knowing he was just going to infuriate James further but _he was just being honest!_

James made an angry noise. “There you are, throwing that word around again! Who said anything about separation? Are you telling me that you want to divorce me?” He demanded again, voice hard and sounding besmirched. This was _not_ good for the baby.

“Well, I dare say that was what I have been expecting to happen since we were wed,” Steve said defensively. He made the mistake of looking back at James and regretted it.

The omega looked absolutely _crestfallen._

“Why?” He asked, in a small voice. Steve was suddenly reminded just how young James still was, how naive he must still be. Life had not yet trampled all over James’ heart. Instead, it was Steve doing the trampling. “Do you not want me?” He asked, and the vulnerability in his voice, the hurt, almost tore Steve in two. 

He rushed to the omega’s side, cupping the side of his face.

“James, _of course_ I want you. Isn’t that the problem?” He asked. At the omega’s confused look, he let out a frustrated huff. “Look at what I’ve done to you! You’re but nineteen. Married and pregnant and--”

“Happy,” Jame interrupted, making Steve pause, bewildered. “I am happy,” he repeated with conviction.

It was James then that climbed to his knees to cup Steve’s face in his hands.

“You make me so _happy._ At least, when you’re not being a complete pompous ass,” he said, a small smile tugging at his lips. Steve swallowed harshly, feeling tears that gathered in his eyes.

“But you are so _young,_ ” he said, voice cracking. “You should be out seeing the world, making friends, meeting new people. You should go to university and live your life without me holding you down,” he said. James cocked his head at Steve’s words, no longer longer angry, just questioning.

“Why can’t I do all of those things with you by my side?” James asked. And Steve--

Well.

Steve didn’t have an answer for that. 

James pressed on.

“Steve,” he said, patiently, gently. “You asked me to marry you, yes. You wanted to help my family, I know--and that was so good of you. But don’t you think…” He trailed off, pausing as he gathered his words. Steve held his breath.

“Don’t you think we should be grown ups and admit that this is not just a marriage of convenience?” He asked. 

Steve’s lips parted, not sure what to say, what to think.

“Steve,” James said, hesitant like he was testing the waters. “Do you love me?”

Yes, of course he did.

_Of course he did._

But wasn’t that the problem? Wasn’t he such a bother? James had been _so good to him,_ so sweet. He had rushed to Steve’s side when he had confessed how lonesome he was. He spent all of his time with Steve, during such impressionable years. Wasn’t that detrimental?

Ever since James had rushed to his side, hadn’t that limited the boy? When Steve realized he had fallen in love, wasn’t that sealing James’ fate? He felt himself a black hole; swallowing up James, sucking the life out of him.

Wasn’t that what Steve did with everyone else?

“Steve,” his omega said, voice a plea. “Tell me,” he said. Steve felt his bottom lip quiver, felt himself falling into those steel blue eyes.

Of course he loved James. He loved James so much he choked with it; loved him so much it made him hate himself. How could he ever tell James of his feelings? He had been planning to go to his grave with the words.

But was it that easy?

Was it that easy to just _say_?

How could he just say it? He opened his mouth, tears spilling down his cheeks. James just waited, watching him. Steve’s voice got caught in his throat, feeling as if he was on the precipice of some great ledge, looking over the edge of deep, dark waters.

How could he just _say_ it? How could he say that James was his everything? Admit how dependent he has become? How vulnerable? He had this place carved out in his chest just for James. He’d been so hollow for so long, and James fit so perfectly inside; gentle and warm. He has held these feelings so close to himself for so long, determined that letting them go would only hurt James.

James had so much life left. He wasn’t tied down by dead loved ones like Steve. He wasn’t haunted with the horrors that Steve was. How could Steve bring James down with him? How could he drown James in the very same things that Steve was drowning in?

He said he wouldn’t do it. He told himself that he would do this one thing for James’ family. But he couldn’t even do that, could he? He dragged this beautiful boy down with him.

“Steve,” James said again, so gently, so softly. He didn’t look angry, or sad, or disappointed. He was just looking with such a kindness in his eyes. But that was James; so kind, so sweet.

Steve couldn’t speak, couldn’t find his voice, he _couldn’t._

But he nodded.

After the first tip of his head, it felt easier, and then easier. The simple action was a floodgate, and suddenly because he was able to nod, to simply move his head, he said--

“Yes,” in such a whisper, voice broken and raw. James’ lips parted, breathing in. “Yes, I love you,” he finally was able to say.

And once he said the words, once they were were finally out of him--words he’s help so close in his chest for so long, words he’s kept bottled inside of him for nearly two years now--it was like he was coming up for air from the deep waters for the first time since Peggy died, since his mother. It was as if he couldn’t remember that he was supposed to breathe and now he could, and did.

His lungs filled with James, his sweet omega scent, and he wanted to drown in James instead of everything he’d been drowning in. He wanted to crawl inside James and live there, somewhere between his breastbone and heart, somewhere safe and warm. He wanted to be tucked into those arms, where it was safe; where he could drown in this boy he loves.

“Good,” James said simply, thumbs sweeping up Steve’s cheeks to wipe away the trails of tears there. “Good, because I love you as well,” he said, lips turned up in a smile.

And _oh._

And Steve couldn’t do anything, anything, but bring James forward to him, and meet his mouth with his own. He held James close, crying softly, and kissed him.

He didn’t know why he thought it impossible. It seemed so obvious, now. Looking at them, of course they loved each other. James was so sweet and open, he could never lie. And he was so stubborn, he could never be made to do something he didn’t want to do.

“Don’t you see, you silly alpha?” James asked when they parted, his hands still caressing his stubbled cheeks. “You said you would support whatever I wanted, whatever I thought best. And I want is to stay with you. I want to have this child, and I want us to stay together, live together. Can we do that?” James asked, eyes smiling and shy.

And Steve didn’t think of what to say--words were falling out of his mouth before he could even register them.

“But everyone leaves,” he said.

And _oh,_ he thought. _This is why I feel this way._

James made a sad noise, and cooed at him, petting his head.

“I’m sorry, my love,” he said, pulling Steve to him. “I’m sorry you’ve had so much loss. But I’m not going to be one you lose. I’m going to stay by your side,” he said gently, running his hands through the alpha’s hair, trying to calm him.

Steve sniffled, feeling open and raw. Like a wound that was trying to heal over and was reopened. But he felt lighter in his omega’s arms. His omega who _loves_ him.

He turned in James’ arms, and pressed a light kiss to his lips.

“Thank you, my sweet,” he said, looking into those beautiful eyes. James smiled softly down at him, holding him close. “I confess I--” He paused to swallow, close his eyes, force himself to be vulnerable. “I’ve loved you for a long time now. But I thought you didn’t deserve to be held down by me,” he said, opening his eyes to see those beautiful eyes turn sad. 

He reached up to push the flyaways from James’ forehead.

“But I think I--I think I know better now,” he whispered.

James nodded, and chuckled softly.

“Took you long enough, you absolute mess of a man,” he said, but with no bite, just fondness. Steve snuffled a laugh, causing himself to cough. James just looked down at him with a smile.

“Your mess,” he corrected.

“Yes, my mess.”

~*~

Life, more or less, returned to normalcy.

James, despite being on strict orders by the doctor to rest as much as possible, took up gardening. Steve had already started secretly inquiring advice on building a greenhouse for his omega so that he could enjoy gardening even in the colder parts of the year.

He and Steve ended up plotting out a nice patch behind the manor to start a vegetable garden. James insisted he was fine to dig up dirt, but Steve still worried and called the rest of the Barnes clan to aid him.

Dr. Banner warned them that they were still not out of the woods just yet, and advised them from sharing the news with anyone; Wanda was the only other soul that knew. He said that after the third month, they should be in safer waters. James seemed perfectly content with the orders. Steve suspected it was because if no one else knew he was with child, only Steve could chastise him when he overworked himself.

Steve had only been married to Peggy for a little over a year before she was taken from him, so despite Steve having been married before, he was still attempting to navigate the more than foreign territory of matrimony. They still were very much like they had been; spending their days together, reading, taking long walks around the estate since James couldn’t ride horses any longer.

But there were a lot of new occurrences that Steve wasn’t sure how to handle well. Namely, the fact that the omega that he was married to, in love with, and was carrying his child was _everywhere_ doing things that made Steve’s teeth chatter in anxiety all day long.

“Steve, I am just going about my daily life. What on earth are you upset about?” James asked as he was helping Wanda clear the table after breakfast. Wanda didn’t seem to mind, but had told him on numerous occasions that she could handle the cleaning duties as _it was her job._

Steve huffed. “Dr. Banner said--”

“ _Dr. Banner_ said to continue as normal except avoid any strenuous or stressful activity. Please tell me how lifting the coffee carafe is strenuous or stressful,” James sassed.

“It is _unnecessary_ ,” Steve said, taking the pot from his hands. James just rolled his eyes with a smile, and patted his cheek affectionately.

“Big strong alpha must protect his omega from the dangers of liquid containers,” he teased, making Steve puff out his chest. He felt his face get hot, which was _ridiculous_ because James was _making fun of him_ but the words still stroked his alpha brain.

Steve swatted his hand away. “What ever happened to your obsession with reading? You used to love doing safe and lazy activities around the house all day, instead of running around out in the sun exerting yourself,” Steve grumbled, making his omega laugh again.

The rest of May followed much the same way. With the good weather came higher spirits, more time spent laying in the grass, and hunting trips with Sam and George that Steve absolutely would not let James near. The omega relented in that matter, at least.

It was true what they said about pregnancies making people glow, as James seemed to be even more radiant than usual. He was his usual snarky self, filled with energy. And the _smell_ \--

They hadn’t been intimate since the initial news, but Steve _itched_ to touch him, had to keep himself from scenting him every time they were in the same room. James smelled _divine,_ sweeter than ripe strawberries, fresh like a summer breeze rolling in a rainstorm. There was something primal in the back of his brain, watching James walk around knowing that he was carrying his child, that his omega took his knot and conceived from it.

Finally, when the three-month appointment came, two months after the first, Dr. Banner examined James privately. Steve found himself pacing outside the room, working himself into a tizzy before Wanda sat him down in a chair with a glass of water with strict instructions to drink it and calm him down. He obeyed, but he had just as much worry knotted in his stomach that he did before.

What felt like hours later, Dr. Banner emerged. Steve held his breath until the doctor smiled. Steve let out a long sigh, leaning back in his chair.

“Everything looks like it is coming along quite nicely,” Banner said, motioning Steve to walk him to the door as usual. “I’m optimistic that James’ body has adjusted to the pregnancy well, and that it is a safe time now to tell your friends and family,” he said. Steve held off his emotions, but gave the doctor a strong handshake.

“Thank you, doctor. We owe you so much,” he said. Dr. Banner had been there for so many of Steve’s tribulations, and he was touched that the doctor was finally able to be a part of a happy part of Steve’s life. Banner gave him a funny smile and avoided eye contact.

“Yes, of course. Oh and Steve,” he said, pausing before opening the door, looking over Steve’s shoulder. “There is absolutely no harm that would become James or the child if you, uh, let nature take its course,” he said ambiguously. 

Steve opened his mouth to question what he meant, but it hit him at once, face heating and embarrassment putting him in a state. The doctor laughed and waved as he left.

Steve had to take a moment to compose himself before going and finding his omega, who was lounging on a settee in the drawing room that they had met in all those seasons ago. Steve smiled as he came upon James gently rubbing his stomach, looking happy.

“It is the size of a plum,” James said, face grinning and not looking up from his stomach. Steve felt his insides wobble, and he pet James’ stomach as well.

“Hello, my little plum,” he greeted, speaking to the omega’s belly, to his child there. He turned to James then, and the omega was looking at him with such raw happiness that Steve had to lean down and kiss him. “And hello, my love,” he said against James’ lips.

~*~

They decided to have the Barnes’ clan and Sam over for supper that Friday to share the good news. 

Steve of course could not keep James from planning a decadent dinner menu, bringing out a lovely old dinner set from the recesses of an old cabinet that Steve had not thought of in years. The dinner set was made up of a fine silver ware set with beautifully detailed china plates, and had been in his family for decades. Steve hadn't used it since before his military days, back before when it was just him and his mother in this big old house.

James seemed to sense that the dinner set had struck some old memories, and was determined to make new happy memories with them. He consistently asked for Steve's opinion on every detail, checking in with him repeatedly. Steve just patted his omega's head and thanked him.

Finally, the dinner was upon them. They all dressed rather nicely, and even Becca was in a new dress that Steve and James had gifted her for her birthday. The guests were clearly a bit confused over the grandiose dinner service, but James insisted that they simply wanted to spoil their friends and family.

When an elegant chocolate cake was served for dessert, James at last shared the good news.

"Steve and I have an announcement to make," he said after patting his mouth with his napkin. Steve gave him an encouraging smile from across the dining table.

The Barnes’ clan and Sam seemed to lean in, looking between Steve and James.

“Well?” Rebecca asked exasperatedly from the delay. James just laughed.

“I am pregnant!” James cried with a grin, and Steve felt for the hundredth time his chest swell with happiness and pride at the declaration.

Their guests erupted with glee, jumping to their feet to rush to James’ side. Sam patted Steve on his back, tears springing in his eyes as he laughed.

“Good man,” he congratulated. Steve just nodded, grasping Sam’s forearm at a loss for words he was so happy.

Winnie fawned over her son at the other end of the table, and Steve and Sam walked over before they all exchanged hugs.

“Capitol!” George cried, “Oh! How wonderful!”

They retired to a sitting room in front of a fireplace, asking questions and laughing joyously about the good news. George nearly worked himself to tears when he declared a toast for the happy couple expecting a child. 

James was the utmost of shining all night, beaming at Steve and his family and friend. It was breathtaking.

~*~

That night, James crawled into bed and settled close into Steve’s side heavily. Kissing his neck, he ran his hand up and down the alpha’s torso. He wore but a loose and thin nightdress that fell to the side of one supple shoulder.

Steve felt himself growl, looking upon his sweet omega in the dim light. 

“Dr. Banner said--” James said, breathy and delightful

“Yes,” Steve replied, knowing _exactly_ what Dr. Banner had said.

He rolled James over, pinning him down into the pillows. The omega’s eyes fluttered closed, his cute nose pink and cheeks flushed. He was so handsome, his omega; his hair fanned out across the pillows, his steely blue eyes barely able to open, his lithe chest heaving as he breathed in anticipation.

Steve lent forward, kissing him softly on his rosebud mouth. The omega mewled into the kiss, but Steve kept him pinned and kissed him across his face, and then down his neck.

He took heaving breaths into the omega’s neck, smelling that delicious scent of pregnant omega. It was intoxicating, and Steve was mullered by it. His insides were set on fire, his sleep pants growing tight as his cock fattened up. He sucked a dark mark there, laving James’ neck with his tongue and teeth.

The omega trembled under him and looked up at him with hazy eyes. “ _Alpha,_ ” he begged, wrists held under Steve’s hand above his head. 

The sight of him, begging and wanton already, sent Steve’s head spinning with desire. He had to have him, had to taste him. He kissed James’ lips again, so red and delicious, and then kept moving back down his sweet little body.

He used his free hand to ruck up James’ sleep gown, and felt the air in his chest heave at the vision of James’ body.

His omega was completely bare underneath his gown. His chest blushed a pretty pink, his nipples hard and straining to be touched, his cock stiff and wet, but his _belly_ \--

His stomach had before been flat. James had always been willowy and lean; wisp and young. But now--now Steve could see that the omega’s stomach bulged just the tiniest bit. Steve’s brain was overtaken by his instinct, and he growled, pressing a kiss to James’ stomach, pleased at the sight of his child growing there.

The omega mewled again, head tossing to the side and hips bucking up for some sort of friction against his cock. Steve traced the swell of his belly with his tongue, nipping at the swell of skin. He circled again, and then lowered himself further down to James’ groin. He had to let go of the omega's wrists, and instead held James by his round hips to snuffle at the juncture of his left leg and hip.

The omega moaned, fingers sinking into Steve’s hair as he licked there, mouth trailing James’ hip bone. He worked his mouth on the bone, sucking a dark bruise into the skin with his lips and teeth.

“ _Alpha,_ ” his omega moaned, fingers flexing and loosening in his hair, sweeping behind an ear and back again.

Steve was drunk on the scent and sounds of his omega, and pale thighs fell open in welcome as Steve moved farther down. He wrapped his mouth around James’ cock, earning a wail from the other and fingers tightening in his hair. Steve bobbed his head, swirling his tongue around the head before giving a forceful suck and letting go.

Reaching under James’ thighs, he gripped him hard and lifted his thighs until James was bent in half. He pushed against the omegas lithe, thin legs by the crevice of his knees, and using just one hand he held them there so they were flush against his chest, with James’ bare feet in the air. He didn’t push too hard down because of the small swell of his belly, but James’ knees were securely pinned.

“Be a good little omega,” Steve said, his voice feeling raspy in his throat at the sight of his omega’s hole now open and exposed, shining wetly with slick. “And stay put for me.”

James cried at the words, reaching his hands back down to cup Steve’s jaw as he lent down to give one long lick up the crack of his ass. The omega made such pretty noises as Steve went to work, getting lost in the taste of his omega. He tucked his tongue in, spearing into the hole and groaning at the taste of his omega’s slick.

He did not know if it was because his omega was pregnant, but he tasted different. Still it was that musky sweetness, but just different enough to make Steve growl into it, thrusting his tongue in deeper to get a better taste. After a few moments of licks and nips at his hole, he turned his head into the omega’s plump asscheek and sucked another bruise there, wanting to bite and claim wherever he could.

As he bit and sucked, he pressed two fingers right into his omega’s hole. It was wet and lax enough to swallow two at once, making his omega cry out again at the sudden fullness of it. He immediately sought out that sweet spot inside of him, feeling around the top of his hole until he heard the wails and felt James clench around him tightly from the pleasure.

He kept pressing there, rubbing circles around it and biting a bruise higher on his right thigh, right where he would feel it when he sat down. After several minutes, he tucked in a third finger and pressed and pressed until his omega choked out a moan and came around his fingers.

The sweet smell of the gush of slick around his fingers made him mad with want, but he was gentle with easing James’ legs down and rubbed his belly with his slick-covered fingers. The brunet looked up at him, his arms fallen to either side of him. He looked weak with pleasure. Looked like _his_.

“Omega,” Steve commanded, making James’ bright eyes darken as his pupils blew. “ _Present._ ”

James’ eyes rolled back into his head as he moaned, and his body rolled over without preamble into the presenting position. Steve fisted his cock, giving himself a few strokes before palming James’ plush asscheek that was now splotchy with bite marks and bruises. He rubbed them appreciatively, pressing his thumbs into them meanly just to hear the muffled cries and see the reflexive clenches of his hole as it dripped down more slick.

The alpha moved forward, holding his cock to drag the head through the trails of slick down his omega’s thighs to wetten him. He then teased James’ hole, pressing in with just enough pressure to let him know he was there but to not actually sink in any. The omega was begging, crying “ _alpha, alpha, alpha_ ,” over again, fingers tangled in the sheets below him.

“You are mine, omega,” Steve said, throat closing up around the emotion and the _want._ James wailed again below him, agreeing, praising, committing himself to him.

With a pleased growl, he finally pushed in, sinking in deep. He went slow enough to feel every centimeter of his cock sink in, getting swallowed up by his omega’s wet hole. His knot was already half blown, and he felt hot all over at the thought that James was going to make him come without much effort.

“My omega,” he growled, starting to fuck in earnest. He gripped the omega's hips hard, his fingers grasping tight as he fucked so hard the wet slap of his hips meeting James’ ass sounded loudly in the quiet room. 

The omega was crying, moaning into the nook of his elbow and begging his alpha to knot him. Steve was dizzy with it; the heady scent of his omega, the pretty cries. It was over too fast.

“ _Mark me, bite me, please!_ ” the omega begged, and in the heat of the moment, Steve almost thought him serious. The thought of biting his omega, bonding him while knotting him full, sent him over the edge.

He pushed in and in, his knot inflating too quickly and his orgasm crashing over him violently as he finally thrust in the last time. He tied his omega up quickly, and he rode out his climax by grinding in deeply, the thought of sinking his teeth in James’ neck wrecking him sweetly as his orgasm crested and fell away. Being this big and full, it was hard to miss all the delicious spots that made his omega sing, and James’ quickly came for the second time on his alpha’s knot.

Breathing heavily, he turned James to that they were on their sides with Steve spooning up behind him, knot snuggly inside. Ignoring the sticky mess of come and slick between them, he threw the undersheet over them and held his omega close.

“Love you, alpha,” James said, voice wobbly and sweet.

Steve pressed kisses to James’ head, inhaling that happy omega scent that made his heart too big for his chest. “I love you too, my omega.”

~*~

Steve woke up, feeling good but confused--something off about the room as he woke. It was still dark, clearly indicating it was sometime in the night, but--

He moaned, brain finally putting together the feeling of wet heat around his cock. He looked down, eyes barely making out James with his mouth around his cock in the dark.

“ _James,_ ” he moaned, roaching down to collect his omega’s hair and hold it to the side and out of the way. At the motion, Steve realized what was different--it was the smell.

James pulled off, mouth making a popping sound. He crawled up Steve’s body, and reached back for Steve’s cock so he could sink down on it. Steve’s head spun, smelling--

“James?” He asked, mind stretched too far between the wonderful feeling of James fucking himself on his cock and the scent that James was emitting. His hands went to James’ belly, feeling the swell there.

“James--, James, are you--” he choked on the smell, it was thick and potent, cloying sweet and it pressed right into Steve’s alpha brain that turned him into an animal. He groaned at a particularly hard thrust, holding his omega’s pregnant belly between his hands. “James, are you in heat?” He asked, disbelieving.

The omega moaned and continued to work himself on his alpha’s cock.

“Doctor--doctor said it could h-happen,” he said, slick ass making wet squelching noises as he kept rocking. Steve just groaned, eyes squeezing closed to concentrate on not coming too quickly but he had no clue how long his omega had been working him over with his mouth as he slept. “S-said I might h-have pseudo heats, but this f-feels pretty, _oh,_ ” he tapered off, grinding his hips harder.

“A-alpha, knot me, p-please,” he begged, body falling forward onto his quivering arms. Steve made an aborted noise before thrusting up into James, body feeling aflame as he fucked in and came again, hands holding James’ hips down onto his cock harshly to ensure his knot went in exactly where it should be.

“O-oh _gods,_ mark me, p-please alpha mark me--” The omega sobbed absolutely shook in his arms as he orgasmed, his sweet little hole convulsing around his alpha’s knot. He fell, then, face first into Steve’s chest, gasping for air as he tried to catch his breath.

Steve pushed James’ hair to one side, fingers dancing across the left side of his omega’s neck, where a mark would go. Tempted, but he couldn't. Just just couldn’t. James cried into his chest, “ _Mark me, bite me please,_ ” but Steve could only shush him and hold him.

It was the heat, of course it was the heat. James’ body must be going through an overwhelming experience of flooded hormones. It wouldn’t be right, no matter how much he wanted to bond his omega. It wouldn’t be right.

Steve had bitten Peggy, but the mark had always been a bit faded. He knew sometimes it was hard for betas to have bonding marks, as the same was for couples of the same designation. But an alpha marking an omega? The mark would be perfectly set and clear. James would take a mark so beautifully.

But it was also a sign of ownership, a more primal bond between two that went beyond a marriage. It was also a serious decision, one that required discussion and consent. James was still young, only nineteen. Their marriage was still in its infancy, and with the happy high that came with conception, now was no time to approach the topic.

As much as he didn’t want to blame it on the hormones from his pregnancy, they could definitely cause James to sway to be in favor of a bite by the alpha that had impregnated him. Steve could never forgive himself if he bonded James, only for him to regret it after giving birth.

He decided to ignore the thoughts, soothe his omega’s cries, and enjoy the omega in his arms, already lulled to sleep despite being knotted full.

~*~

Steve didn’t really know what was going on, but something was wrong.

James had been _ravenous_ for sex ever since that first night. Dr. Banner had said himself that bouts of pseudo heats were common during an omega’s pregnancy, especially when the father was an alpha. But James was absolutely, incomprehensibly insatiable.

He woke them both up that Saturday morning by climbing back on top of Steve and giving them another orgasm, shoving Steve’s face into his throat and pleading to be marked. Later that day, he prowled into Steve’s study where he was working and pulled him onto the floor and begged Steve to take him there. High on the anxiety of being walked in on and the sweet smell of omega heat, he fucked James hard and without abandon, but was then tied to him for a full ten minutes before his knot went down.

James had just pulled his pants up over the slick and come on his ass and thighs and kissed Steve before sauntering out.

Throughout the course of the week, they fucked continuously. Steve’s dick was getting chaffed, but the alpha part of his brain would always react to his omega’s heat, even though it wasn’t a true heat. James was getting quieter and quieter, though. But still needy, still pulling him close, pressing his face to his throat. A part of him still questioned, though. He didn’t think this could be normal, could it?

James seemed to be getting more and more tired, and Steve assumed the exertion from the pseudo-heat mixed with the pregnancy was just too much for him. The omega went from actively climbing into Steve’s lap with bright eyes, to whining pitifully for his alpha, sluggish like he was drunk. 

By Thursday, things had taken a severe turn. Steve had left James sleeping in bed in the morning, and went to check on him when he didn’t come down for breakfast. He found the omega still asleep in bed, and pet his head soothingly.

At the first touch, he knew something was wrong. James was too warm, his eyes closed tightly like he was in pain. Steve crawled into bed, pulse frantic in his throat as he peeled the covers back to examine him.

He wasn’t clutching his stomach, but his hands were clenched in his sleep by his side.

“James, sweetheart,” he murmured, shaking the omega gently to wake him. When fevered eyes looked up at him, hazy and not all the way there, Steve ran out of the room to call upon Dr. Banner.

He nearly paced an indentation into the hallway as the doctor examined James. Wanda rested her hand on his back in comfort, but it did little to ease the worry in his heart. 

He couldn’t lose James. He absolutely could not lose this man he loved so dearly. His heart thundered inside him, making his stomach roll from anxiousness. Just when he thought he could not take this feeling any longer, Dr. Banner opened the door to their bedroom and waved Steve in.

He scurried inside, hurrying to James’ side who appeared to be in a fitful sleep.

“Captain,” Dr. Banner started, sounding grave. Steve slapped a hand over his own mouth to keep himself from crying out.

“Captain,” the doctor repeated. “James’ symptoms are curious, but he is not sick with anything that needs a physical cure,” he assured. It did little to settle the intense feelings of worry in him. “But there is a problem. His body is reacting to the pregnancy in a curious way. You told me he’s had an extended heat?”

Steve nodded frantically.

“Yes, it’s been plaguing him since Saturday morning. He said it was possible, but it’d extended well into this week,” he said,

Dr. Banner tapped his chin a few times, thinking.

“Captain, pardon me for noticing, but you and James are not bonded,” he said, stepping forward. Steve pried his eyes away from his sleeping omega to look up at the doctor.

“Yes,” he said softly, looking back down, eyes not able to trail away from the sleep man for long. “As you may have concluded, we did not marry out of love, initially,” he spoke quietly, hand petting back James’ hair from his face. “George Barnes had lost his occupation, and in a mad, quick decision, I asked James to marry me in order to save his family from destitution.”

The doctor sat on the foot of the bed, watching the alpha as he spoke.

“But you _were_ in love with him,” the doctor said. Steve nodded, feeling a tear slip down his cheek as he blinked.

“Yes, I’ve been very much in love with him. Since before he even presented,” he confessed. “I couldn’t bear the thought of the Barnes’ falling into poverty, or moving away in search of work. James was a friend, he--,” he stopped to swallow down his emotions.

“He loved you back,” the doctor said. Steve shrugged, thumb tracing over the omega's cheekbone, still sleeping peacefully.

“I’m not really sure when it happened for him,” he replied. 

“He told me,” Dr. Banner said, making Steve glance up at him. “During the appointment after you two resolved your differences. He told me he’d been in love with you almost since the moment he’d met you,” he said, voice steady and careful.

Steve felt a bubble of emotion climb up his throat. “He said that, did he?” He asked, words wobbly and weak. The doctor gave Steve a gentle smile.

“So you both married for love, you just did not know it,” the doctor said, voice kind with a teasing tilt to it. “But now that James is pregnant--a male omega, pregnant with a child by an alpha male--his body must be confused, because it is going through this intense process without a bond.”

Steve bit his lip, not understanding. He knew so little about omegas, especially male omegas. He paid rapt attention to the sleeping boy, his cheeks flush from the heat while asleep.

“Steve, in my professional opinion, James’ body is reacting negatively to the pregnancy because you have not bonded with him. It threw itself into a prolonged heat to try and get his alpha to bond him,” he said.

Steve didn’t know what to make of the words, at a loss of his own. His omega mewled in his sleep, Steve’s hand sliding down from his cheek to touch the juncture of his throat and shoulder.

“In my professional opinion, Steve,” the doctor repeated, slow and pointed. “This may be detrimental to both James and the child.”

“How can we possibly have a proper discussion about it when he is like this?” He asked, looking to the doctor. “How could I possibly be given consent when he is ravaged by his heat in such a way?”

Banner sighed, and pushed his looking glasses higher up his nose.

“You may not have the option,” replied the doctor, gravely.

When the doctor left with no other advice to give, Steve asked Wanda to call upon the Barnes’. Rebecca was out of town staying with a friend she met from Paris, but Winnie and George rushed over.

Steve and George left Winnie to attend to James. The alpha poured them both a healthy serving of whiskey into two sniffers with a trembling hand. He passed George’s glass to him silently, and took to sips before covering his face with his free hand.

“What is wrong with him?” George asked, looking pale. Steve shook his head, trying to find his voice.

“The doctor thinks his body is reacting to not being bonded,” Steve whispered. He couldn’t look George in the eyes, feeling ashamed of himself.

George was quiet for a moment before speaking.

“I did think it odd that you two hadn’t bonded yet,” he said, making Steve exhale harshly. “It is important for omegas to have a bond with their mate, but we thought perhaps the two of you were trying to be contemporary.”

Steve let out an ugly, wet laugh, tears beading in his eyes.

“No, no. I am just an absolute moron, apparently,” he said, finally looking over to his friend.

George gave him a pitying smile.

“George, my friend,” Steve said, walking over to the beta and sitting across from him. “Has James always been in love with me?”

The beta looked confused at the question.

“He’s practically been infatuated with you since that first night of your acquaintance. Why do you ask?” 

Steve shook his head and lent back into the chair he sat in. He took a slop sip of whiskey, and held the glass against his thigh.

“The doctor believes his body is throwing a fit because he has not been bonded. He believes it is detrimental to both of their healths,” Steve said, looking off to the side, not able to look at his friend while he talks about his son in such a way. “James and I had not discussed it yet. And now--”

“We never told you,” George said, interrupting. Steve looked at him then, confused but silent. George sighed and lent forward so his elbows rested on his knees. “We never told you about when James presented.”

“Before you came to speak with me about your concerns of James’ attachment, we had all worked out that James was seriously in love with you,” George confessed, swirling the whiskey in his glass. “Upon your reaction to my hypothesis--that James would present as omega, and was latching onto you, an alpha he cared deeply about--well, we assumed that meant you did not return his affections. _Which,_ ” George stressed when Steve opened his mouth to interrupt, “no one could fault you on.”

“It wasn’t until that moment that I realized that I may feel something for him,” Steve shared. George nodded in understanding and looked back down at his glass.

“After you left, James fell into a depressive state. It was… quite sad, if I am honest, and rather difficult to watch. After his birthday came and went and he still had not presented, we did not know what to think. But then, Wanda found him,” he said.

George sat up then, staring Steve in the eyes.

“James went into heat in your bed,” he said, causing Steve’s heart to stop.

_What?_

“We thought it embarrassing,” George continued quickly. “And he was absolutely mortified by it when he finally came round. He spent the week in one of your guest rooms, with Wanda taking care of him. Steve...we believe he imprinted on you,” George said. 

Steve was--

Well, Steve was in shock.

James went into heat in his bed? Was it--was it his scent? Steve remembered back to receiving the news, how just the thought of James falling into his first heat, presenting as an omega, sent himself into an intense rut.

“But we thought you indifferent. We thought you to have sworn off all love. And who could blame you? We didn’t think poorly of you--it was just nature, you know. But then you two suddenly decided to marry and now--” George stopped, seemingly not knowing what else to say.

“When you sent me that letter,” Steve said, voice rough with emotion, face heating from shame. “When I first read that James had gone into heat and presented as omega, I went into rut almost instantaneously.”

He thought George might be repulsed from that event, initially. But now he did not know what to expect.

George huffed a laugh and shook his head.

“I said it before and I shall say it again: you two are absolute morons,” he said, but with laughter in his voice.

Steve shook his own head and ran his fingers through his hair.

“So what does this all mean?” Steve asked. What does it mean for he and James _now?_

George stood then, and set his glass down.

“It means that you two have already bonded spiritually, and you just need it physically now. It means that you better bond with my son, because he has been wanting it since the moment he met you.”

~*~

George went to collect Winnie, who must have had an inkling about their conversation because she patted his shoulder with a smile on the way out. Wanda made herself scarce, so it was only he and James.

The omega was sound asleep, but pale and looking like he was in a fitful sleep. Steve stood over him for several moments, working himself up to what he had to do. Finally, he stripped himself of his clothes and crawled into their bed.

“James,” he murmured, cupping the omega’s cheek gently. The omega stirred. “James,” he said again, like a prayer.

The omega opened his eyes slowly, still hazy and not all of the way there. His pupils were fully dilated, the black nearly swallowing up all of the pretty steel blue. His lithe chest was heaving, little puffs of air floating to Steve’s face over him.

“My omega,” he whispered, stroking down James’ face. The omega’s eyes fluttered at the endearment, but stayed half-open. “I am sorry to have kept you waiting,” he said, hand trailing down to pull down the blankets.

He uncovered James’ body, pulling up his night shirt to expose him fully. The omega was hard and flushed pink, but weak and pliable. He situated himself between the omega’s thighs, moving his limbs gently where he wanted them.

When he had finally got himself on his knees between James’ thighs, legs spread open wide around him, he reached down to sleep the pool of slick there. The omega mewled pathetically, barely able to move anymore, barely able to make much noise.

“I’m sorry, my omega. I’m sorry to have kept you waiting,” he said, apologizing over and over quietly while lifting up James’ hips with care.

His own cock was hard, still eager to respond to his omega’s heat. He positioned himself where he was aching to go, and pushed himself into the warm and welcoming body. He crawled on top of James, holding himself over the omega. James moaned weakly, head lolling to the side and exposing the left side of his neck.

 _Alpha,_ ” James rasped, feeble and quiet. Steve started to grind in, working himself in and out of James’ lax body. The scent of heat was thick and sweet, intoxicating and playing his own body so easily. He would not last long, and at the quivering of James’ body around him, he tucked himself into James’ neck, kissing where the mark would go.

“Please,” James pleaded. “Please, mark me,” he asked, voice barely above a whisper. 

Steve found himself no longer able to deny the omega.

He groaned, fucking in and coming, his knot inflating and locking in place. James moaned, high and breathy, coming himself as he trembled around Steve’s knot. As soon as he was tied, in the throes of his orgasm, he kissed James’ neck softly, and then sunk his teeth into him.

He had done this once before, with Peggy. It had been sweet then, meaningful and significant. They had smiled at each other and held each other for the rest of the night, feeling closer than ever before. It was warm and comforting, like a thick wool blanket hugging him on a cold winter night.

But this--this was different.

This crashed over him, his body on fire, the source being his mouth on his omega's neck. Heat like lava poured through him, making James moan loud under him, thrashing as Steve held him. James’ body convulsed under him, a whining moan clawing out of his throat as he continued to come around Steve. As his teeth sunk in deep enough to mark--a tinge of blood coating his tongue--his mind went blank, and then exploded in colors and feelings.

It was the most intense feeling he had ever felt, body feeling like it was stuck in suspended orgasm. His pleasure bled over into James’ pleasure, and James’ pleasure his. He felt everything James felt; feelings of physical and emotional. And James--

James felt so _happy._

Steve sobbed at the feeling, his jaw loosening on James’ neck and finally drawing back as his body experienced miniature quakes from the residual fulfillment. He remained locked in James, and he could feel it--could feel how much James loved the feeling of being full.

He lent back enough to look at his omega, who still looked tired and perhaps not all the way there, but he was smiling. James raised his hand to stroke down Steve’s cheek, happiness overflowing between them. And Steve knew, he knew then that this was right--that it was what James wanted, not just because of the child. He wanted Steve, wholly and openly.

“ _Thank you,_ ” he mumbled, soft smile gracing his lips. "Thank you, my alpha."

Steve felt overwhelmed, and laughed bright and happy, holding James close, whispering his love over and over.

It was finally right. It was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading! I would love to know your reactions.
> 
> As you may have noticed, I made this the first part of a series. I am currently working on the first followup fic, which I think you may enjoy if you liked this one. Stay tuned if you are interested in reading more from this verse :)
> 
> Love you all <3

**Author's Note:**

> I'd appreciate any feedback or reactions :)


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